by Vidya Frazier
One of the many things people are dealing with these days is handling challenges in their relationships.
If you’re like a lot of people, you’ve probably been having to face old, painful relationship patterns that are now coming to the surface and causing difficult conflicts and divisions with loved ones, friends and business contacts.
Relationships are an extremely important part of life for most of us. And this will become even more so, as our bonds of love with people will be what we rely on more and more to see us through these chaotic transitional times.
Any challenges we are now experiencing in our relationships can therefore be all the more painful – especially if we don’t understand how these relationship changes are primarily due to the powerful 5D frequencies of light that are now streaming onto the planet.
3D Relationship Patterns Need to Shift
One thing you may be finding is that you seem to have little in common now with certain people you’ve related to for much of your life. This can be confusing and unsettling. People who were once so important in your life seem to be drifting away.
You perhaps don’t miss them, but there may not yet be anyone else replacing them in your life. Because of this, you might be feeling isolated and somewhat lonely these days, with very few people, if any, you can really call friends anymore.
Even those relationships that are still intact seem to be demanding changes in them. Old unconscious patterns, understandings and agreements aren’t working so well anymore. You can’t get away with letting misunderstandings, hurt, anger or disrespect slip by. They are coming to the surface, demanding to be seen and resolved. And, if you don’t know what to do to fix the situation, it can sometimes be agonizing.
This is because your relationships are needing to shift in vibration to match the new frequencies now on the planet. Unless you begin creating new higher-frequency 5D patterns of relating to those in your life, your relationships will likely continue to get all the more rocky and painful.
So what needs to change? How are 5D relationships different from those based mainly on 3D patterns, behaviors and beliefs?
Greater Detachment and Responsibility
In general, when you’re in a relationship that is fully immersed in 3D patterns, one of the most difficult experiences is how deep and powerful the emotional pain you can feel is.
You can get caught in believing you’re going to die, if the relationship doesn’t work out, or if a loved one decides they don’t want to be with you or in contact with you anymore. Or even if they’re simply ignoring you, blaming you for something, or shaming you in some way, it can sometimes totally flatten you.
In a 5D relationship, emotions certainly arise, but there is more of a sense of detachment with them. You know yourself to be more than your emotions. And someone’s anger or rejection do not affect you as they might have at one time. You are steadier, stronger, and more centered in your love for yourself.
In addition, each person in the relationship is able to take full responsibility for what they are bringing to the relationship — in particular, anything that is out of alignment with love and respect. And they can acknowledge if they have been projecting their own stuff onto the other person. There is a deep desire to keep communication open and flowing.
But perhaps one of the most obvious aspects of a 5D relationship is that the love you feel for someone is unconditional.
You have probably felt this kind of love in certain relationships you’ve had over the years with people you’ll just always love, no matter what happens or what they may do. You somehow know them on a deep level as a Soul, and the love is just there, unchanging, within you.
You know it because your heart hurts when they’re in pain; you feel thankful when you see them happy. No matter what happens, even if for some reason you need to leave them and never really relate to them on a close basis again, you will still always love them.
It is, of course, important to make a distinction between unconditional love and unconditional allowance of any kind of behavior toward you. Some people are confused about this. Allowing disrespect or hurtful behavior toward you is not unconditional love – it’s a pattern due to a of lack of self worth. It’s important to keep strong and loving boundaries with anyone who does not treat you with love and respect.
And yet, when you truly begin functioning in 5D consciousness, you find that boundary issues generally don’t even occur, simply because you have unconditional love for yourself – and people feel it and tend to treat you with the same kind of respect and love you feel for yourself.
The Difference between 5D Love for a Partner
and Need, Desire or Lust
When the relationship is between intimate partners, another important element involved in a 5D relationship is that love is not confused with either a sense of need, a strong desire to be with someone, or a feeling of lust toward them.
In 3D type relationships, a sense of need is often very much involved. “I love you” usually actually means “I need you – please don’t leave me”.
When someone says this to you, it can emotionally grab your heart, because maybe you may feel a need for them too. But this kind of element in the relationship brings in all sorts of challenges if, at some point, someone feels their needs are not being met by the other person. It can sometimes keep you in a type of 3D hell, where you’re each demanding that the other is not “meeting your needs”.
When in 3D consciousness, desire can also be construed as love. Sometimes it’s simply lust that’s involved. And, of course, when this eventually diminishes, it can feel as if love has died.
Other times, the feeling is an emotional of type of desire that gets mistaken for love. It may even simply be a desire to be seen with someone or to be connected to them in some way. There’s a focus on image – a desire to be seen and respected in a certain way, because you are connected to this person. This, of course, is not actually love either.
Unconditional Self Love
In a more 5D type relationship, there can, of course, be some sense of need for support involved – or, if it’s with a partner, a feeling of desire or lust – but these are not the primary elements within the relationship.
Each person has learned to unconditionally love him or herself, so that is the love that is the most sustaining and reliable for them.
The other person’s love is a bonus, a very welcome and cherished gift – but it isn’t what is most relied on for a sense of well-being and happiness. It’s your own love for yourself that gives you a sense that you’re valuable, important, and worthy of love.
Transitioning to 5D Relationships
Making the transition from a relationship based on 3D patterns and habits to one that resonates more with 5D consciousness is not an easy process for many people – especially if the relationship is an old one in which set patterns have been in place for a long time. But, if this transition isn’t paid attention to, difficulties will inevitably arise at this point. The Ascension process is now demanding it.
In fact, the 5D energies flowing through us now can be ruthless at times. They are cleaning out anything that cannot remain with us as we shift into a higher frequency.
But if we pay attention to this and are honest about the 3D patterns we’re still running, we can avoid severe hurt, anger and struggle.
We can consciously make the shift into a higher frequency through inner vigilance, clear intention, and conscious healing practices. And we can create truly beautiful, supportive, and fulfilling relationships with people we can be together with, as we travel this path into the Fifth Dimension.
For greater understanding of how to make the transition between 3D and 5D relationships, you may wish to listen to my latest podcast:
Navigating Relationship Challenges
during the Ascension Process