by Digger Barr
Swami Radhakrishnananda asked me if I would go to the Ashram.
It was not just a question.
It was more of an invitation and a strong suggestion, just short of a directive.
I had been in classes at the Yoga center for two years and it was time. She felt it was time to fully immerse myself inthe study and practice of yogic living.
I love Swami Radhakrishnananda. Bless her soul. She passed over in 2012.
I told her I could not do that.
Did I want to?
Yes, very much, yes.
She herself had left her family and immersed herself into her study and teachings of Radha. She fully understood what was being asked of me.
The Yasodhara Ashram located north of Nelson B.C. is a beautiful place. located right on Kootenay Bay. It was founded by a great visionary, Swami Radha, in 1962. It’s a wonderful story and worth the research or a visit. Their teachings are based in Sivananda tradition while blending western and eastern thoughts. The path is realized through Hatha yoga and Kundalini yoga with a discipline of other exercises. It also has a nod towards the Divine Feminine as Swami Radha was a woman. Rare for a Swami or a homesteader in that time period.
In many respects I wish I had taken that step. I wonder about life there.
At the time however, I listened to my gut instincts.
“I cannot,” I said, “because if I went , I would never come back.”
I had the glimpse of the future and realized that once engaged at the Ashram returning to this life would be too difficult. Best to stay immersed rather than try to re-enter.
This was in 2005, I would not leave my 5 year old son.
I also knew, at the time, my place was here among the general population. It was here in the trenches to share my light in whatever way I could.
I continued my studies at the Yoga center in Spokane WA. We were very blessed to have a satellite branch from the Yasodhara Ashram available to us here.
Fast forward to 2024, I can see now how that decision helped form who I am and what my purpose became.
Wait, It’s not 2024. My time machine is out of whack. Let me hit it with a hammer and we can try that again.
Fast forward to the now, which is today, October 2, 2022.
I think dates are important right now because each day unfolds with rapid fire results.
On one hand time seems to be suspended. and on the other it is going so fast, I gave up trying to keep up.
Same goes for looking into the past.
I hit a flat wall when looking back trying to remember what events took place in what order. What I mean by a flat wall is that all the events were viewed simultaneously. I was having a hard time determining what happened first and when. I knew it happened and the memories were clear but I couldn’t put a time progression on them. Trying to look back, time didn’t have depth, It had a 2D perspective.
Sounds a bit bizarre but that’s how it happened.
Anyway, posting dates serves as a marker so we can track a little better.
Let me get back to my purpose in writing this article.
I look back at the decision that directed a course in my life.
I choose to be here immersed in all this muck and mire as it built up to what we are all currently experiencing.
Well, I guess there is no escaping it and we all chose to be here. But for me I was cognizant of that ‘choice point’ in ‘real time.’
The reason I bring this up is because of the struggle we are all feeling trying to exist in this state of limbo in the here and now.
The pressure is overbearing at times as we grasp at reaching the ‘Where’ we wish we could be.
Do we know where we are going?
We think we do but do we really?
Looking forward, creating and co-creating the world we want is our duty. What we develop and the direction we take it is our prime directive. Well kinda.
And we will.
It will be amazing. And we will perform with miraculous results.
I believe in us.
But how do we be here in the now? It’s getting very difficult.
I can only share what I know.
Take a breath.
Be in love. Be in love with yourself. Love another.
Now be in love with everyone.
Take a breath.
And as they say, Rinse and repeat.
Swami Radhakrisnananada replied to me with a smile, “It’s not time yet.” And then later, “It’s only a place.”
I hear her words almost daily. She shared so much wisdom.
I can feel her presence after all these years.
If she can hear me and I know she can, I say, “Swami, it’s time. I do not need to go anywhere. I am here.”
The Ashram is here within all of us.
Just as Swami Radha did it all so many years ago, Hold the vision and it will manifest.
Time is time and it doesn’t matter.
We are in the now, today, tomorrow, yesterday.
It is all now.
This is the choice point.