Having committed myself to the divine qualities – to such things as keeping the peace – I find myself in strange territory. Definitely beyond the frontier of my knowledge.
The troll under the bridge has no idea of how to navigate in this realm. None of his tricks work.
And to make matters worse, the knee-jerk responses to so many things insist on still going off, dragging me back into the ways of being I’d like to leave behind.
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court. Virtually. The only thing I know to do is not to act on my automatic reaction patterns but to observe them and drop them the moment they’re seen to be of malintent. Instantly. No questions asked. Nothing needed to put in their place.
Apart from that, I have no idea how to navigate these waters. It’s an ethnographic study unto itself. Hindus would know this as a rajasic (or busy) person committing to sattwa (or purity). (2)
The compensating benefits far outweigh the cost in awkwardness. For one, I have no difficulty switching from being busy to being meditative because I have no issues going off. I have nothing on my conscience.
I no longer feel insecure or unworthy. I can’t say when they fell away. I just noticed they’re not here any longer. This development ranks with Constant Comment dropping away, in terms of improvement in the experience of life.
This path feels like an open road, whereas a life lived from commitment to survival skills and looking out for Number One felt like a life lined with pitfalls and speed bumps.
Not like I was aware of it at the time. To me it was just life.
But now, as we slowly rise in consciousness and as I look back on it, whatever I did in the last month or so has made my breathing easier, my outlook more relaxed, my ability to take my attention wherever I please without self-criticism stronger, etc.
When I look inside, I get the thought: I am complete with life.
Strangely enough, I never knew what “complete” really was until this moment. It’s showing up for me now as having no feelings about the thing in question either way – yay or nay. I have no more cords of liking or disliking connecting me to it. I have filed it away.
I am complete with life.
Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say, I’m complete with preferences. I desire nothing more from life than the daily amenities.
And this doesn’t strike me as deprivation. It feels very natural.
Counter-intuitive but natural.
If we were grappling with a problem, and bliss arose, we’d have a realization. Later we might also call it a paradigmatic breakthrough. This process of self-awareness is the way to go about setting up that breakthrough.
In the meantime, I am complete with life and wanting nothing more, for as long as this mood lasts, than to simply be with it.
(1) Steve: Are you communicating with me through clouds?
Archangel Michael: Yes, I am. Do you not know that I am an artist of the sky?
Steve: Of course! I see some very interesting clouds and I wonder if that’s you.
AAM: It is often me. Sometimes it is simply geophysical situations or Gaia playing tricks on you but often it is me. (Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Aug. 2, 2019.)
(2) The gunas or cosmic forces are rajas (creation), sattwa (preservation), and thamas (transformation). There are three corresponding psychological types: thamasic (lethargic), rajasic (busy), and sattwic (pure).