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Lesson 13: Learn to Set Boundaries
Athena: This would appear to be another intellectual lesson but it is not. This is about energy exchange as well.
When you set a verbal boundary with another person, you are holding off their energy. This is what stalking is about, by the way. The stalker desires the energy of the other person and will stop at nothing to get it. Stalkers think about the people they are stalking and in this way steal their energy. Yes, thinking about another person creates an energetic connection; it’s a question of whether it’s reciprocated or not. Stalking has to do with disempowering another person.
Me: LOL Yes. I feel that too. I get stalked doing this work.
Athena: What you must do is shield yourself from connections you do not want to make with others and continue to cut cords.
During interaction with other people, boundary setting must be done. Without that, you will become overwhelmed quickly, especially if you”re a giving type of person. The ability to say “No, I won’t do that,” is very important. If saying “no” is hard for you, then use other means, “You’ll have to do that yourself,” or, “Talk to me later about that.”
This is about protecting your energy, creating a life for yourself that works for you, and not becoming emotionally and energetically drained.
Many spiritual people believe that things like boundary setting is not necessary. They may feel that they can accomplish all they like through the law of attraction and that it is not good to say no.
This is false. It is always good to protect yourself, your boundaries, and your energy. Always. When in the physical, you protect yourself verbally and physically.
THIS WEEK’S TASK: Practice saying “no.”
Do not be mean about it, do not be condescending. Begin with “I” statements. “I’m not able to do that right now,” “I can’t help you right now.”
Don’t begin with “you” statements as this puts people on the defensive: “You’re always asking me for this. Why can’t you do this yourself for a change?!” “You’re back again?! Now what do you need?”
You can be kind and caring while setting limits. Repeat them as necessary. Often takers will try manipulation in order to gain their way. Remember, this is about power, power over your energy, it’s not about actually getting their needs or wants met. In Sharon’s case she simply says, “I know what you’re doing and the answer is no.”
Setting boundaries and limits with others can require repetition, especially if they are indulging in a bad habit that is supported elsewhere but violates your boundaries, such as leaving garbage behind in your car.