I’ve been wandering around for days with this longing going on and I haven’t known what it is I’m longing for.
At one point I narrowed it down to wanting to feel joy eternally.
But today I had a breakthrough. I found what it was I’ve been seeking.
I suddenly found myself in a flow of love (because love must flow) aimed at myself. That flow was so easy and natural, like a summer’s day at a country farm. And the love was so pure.
It wasn’t pride. It wasn’t egotism. It wasn’t narcissism.
It was higher-dimensional love but I suppose I was now ready to let it in. Yes, I think my barriers have come down as a result of this latest experience of desirelessness.
It seemed impossible before for me to love myself. Now nothing seems easier.
We tend to think linearly, additively, algebraically. But life and evolution seem to proceed by jumps. “Leapfrogging,” Michael and the Divine Mother called it. (1) Desirelessness was a jump. Self-love is a jump.
I’m flooded with pleasant memories of Disneyland, drives in the country, favorite haunts. It’s as if they’ve been held back and are now released.
And every breath I draw up now carries at least some love for me, the rest going out to the world.
(1) Archangel Michael: Give consideration to leap-frogging. (“Archangel Michael: Back to the One with the Speed of Love,” July 16, 2013, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2013/07/16/archangel-michael-back-to-the-one-with-the-speed-of-love/.)
Divine Mother: “You don’t know it — well, some of you do — but you are leap-frogging. And then you will be there.” (“The Divine Mother: We are Creating a New Species of Humans (Repost),” September 15, 2017, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2017/09/15/the-divine-mother-we-are-creating-a-new-species-of-humans-repost-2/.)