The desirelessness that I felt from the “download” experience is fading.
It’s interesting when that happens. When our awareness recedes for any reason – fear or a waning spiritual experience – our awareness that our awareness has receded also recedes.
So as I come back to everyday consciousness from whatever region of consciousness I was in (again, no roadsigns), my awareness that I’m no longer there and that I’m coming back is again absent. I don’t know and I don’t know I don’t know.
But we need to really get the significance of that because every event like this is rich in significance.
As our density increases, our awareness decreases.
If our consciousness contracts, we lose awareness of it contracting. We descended the consciousness ladder and aren’t aware that we did.
Now hold that thought. Let me add another to the mix.
Consider that the higher level of consciousness can know the lower (I can know my vasanas, for instance), but the lower is not able to know the higher. I lost awareness and I lost awareness that I lost awareness.
The lower draws itself into itself completely, like the water tentacle in The Abyss. (1) The higher disappears and doesn’t know it did.
Is this not the same with the dimensions – as they were before the Mother’s new space was created – as it is for the personal?
The lower dimensions can’t see the higher. The higher can see the lower. When we come into the body (the lower dimension) from our nightly excursions (higher), we can’t remember anything. I think probably everyone has had the experience of the memory of a night-time adventure rapidly receding upon awakening.
So when I say there’s significance in so many seemingly-ordinary events, the fact that the personal mirrors the dimensional – as above, so below – is an example.
Here, in the behavior of our own consciousness, we can see a design feature of life: That our consciousness deepens, expands the higher up we go. Here’s a second: That our consciousness retains its awareness of what is behind whereas what is behind is unaware of it.
Can we not see the Mother, designing life so that the higher we go, the sweeter it is? Can we not see the way life is designed as an inducement to us to go forward, go forward, go forward?
(1) The Abyss. 1989.