What’s it like to act without desire? How can I carry on?
First, let me redefine “desire.” Here’s Websters to start with:
- to long or hope for : exhibit or feel desire for
I’d like to expand on that. I redefine desire as a complex of actions, including but not limited to:
- An urge being felt
- The urge being conceptualized
- A conclusion being reached about the urge as conceived
- A decision being reached with regard to it
- An action order being issued
- Action being taken
- An evaluation being held.
This, multiplied by the number of desires I’m responding to, constitutes much of the background chatter that is present to”I” or “ego” that arises to satisfy those wants. Can you not see how a “busy mind” arises?
This is distinct from the situation with a desireless mind:
- An urge being felt
- An action being taken
I think that about says it all, doesn’t it? Just cut out the middle man. The ego exists on one of the lower floors of the department store called “me.” Just don’t stop on that floor any more.
You can do perfectly well just responding to your felt needs. The rest arises naturally.
But you do have to trust yourself and I admit that that was one of the things that shifted when I had an “upgrade” on June 7. (1) Following that event, as you recall, I felt confident, competent, balanced, stable, self-trusting, peaceful, and, most of all, desireless.
I can now conclusively say that the “I” of the ego arises in response to a created desire we have. The entire obstacle to spiritual progress could be said to be contained in the words “I want.” In the desireless state, there is no wanting mind and hence the ego generally does not rear its head.
I’d heard that from a guru, but now it moved from intellectual knowledge to experiential knowledge.
I’m in the desireless state now, whether I was at the outset or not. And it seems and feels very ordinary. But the judgments about ordinariness are gone.
One just is, in this state, without the trappings, the considerations, the performances, the image management. Nothing magical or mystical. More the cessation of all that bothersome background chatter. Release!
I’m more compassionate because I respond to the needs of the moment rather than to some role I’ve created for myself which has me acting automatically, like a robot.
I just remembered that, around 1-3 weeks prior to the events of June 6-7, I’d invoked the universal laws of intention, sacred purpose, give and receive, karmic dispensation, and grace and asked Mother and Archangel Michael for an expansion of consciousness. Ask and ye shall receive. I can’t overlook the possibility that the events of June were the result of that request.
I have to mention before closing that I’m not qualified to dispense advice or in other ways act as a spiritual teacher – nor do I seek to. That doesn’t mean I don’t like to write about spiritual topics; I do. But as a peer and not as anyone’s guru. Many thanks.
(1) See “And Here It Is,” June 11, 2021, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2021/06/11/and-here-it-is/ and “Desirelessness,” June 15, 2021, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2021/06/15/desirelessness/
I originally thought I had experienced a walk-in but Suzy Ward’s Hatonn, Matthew, and Ashtar confirmed that it wasn’t.