Inward or outward? At that age? Who cares
I think we all seek happiness, although the word may mean different things to different people.
For some it might lie in wealth. For others in nature. For me it lies in writing.
Having watched myself and others, I kid myself that one can divide the world into two types of people: Those who seek happiness internally and those who seek it externally.
“I have a trillion dollars now. Why am I not happy?” may be heard in a few quarters (no pun intended) a year after the Reval.
Mary through Pamela Kribbe describes the movement inward:
“You have tried to find the Light by gaining worldly power or possessions. You have tried to find the Light by creating a big ego and gaining recognition from the world. And you have tried to find the Light by losing yourself in romantic relationships; by trying to merge with another soul. These are really the stages that every soul goes through on its evolutionary journey.” (2)
However, according to Mary, “at some point, the soul discovers that those things do not work, and then the soul goes through a deep inner crisis” and here is where the dark night ensues.
“As it is maturing, it discovers deep emotions of loneliness, separation, and fear, and there is a growing awareness that nothing outside itself can fill the void. This stage of a soul’s journey can be called ‘the dark night of the soul.’ The soul can not lose itself any more in anything external, and yet it does not know how to nurture itself, how to go within.
“This is when loneliness can hit you hardest, and when you are at this point, as often happens in relationships, you realize you can not find outside yourself what you are really seeking. So there is no other road to follow than the road that leads to your heart.” (3)
This is in a “normal” relationship. Now add to the equation a Reval of immense proportions and a responsibility for humanitarian philanthropy.
***
The rise of the tendency to seek happiness within has risen so gradually that I didn’t notice it and couldn’t possibly trace it. And yet here I am, walking slowly around the park, maintaining awareness of my inner environment, day in and day out.
My needs and desires were not great as a child. I led an average, normal life. I had everything I wanted, all the collections that kids of my generation had, marbles, model dinosaurs, model airplanes, even a model airport.
But none of that ever took root. I was not that.
I had rich relatives but their wealth never interested me. So there was a lack of interest in seeking happiness externally and a well-oiled, conditioned response by age 40 to seek it internally.
Has it been successful? Of course. I’ve gotten as far as knowing that I can draw happiness up on each in-breath, from the heart. It’s the same, I’m discovering, for each divine state.
***
The test will come when we all begin our post-Reval work. Will handling large sums of money turn our heads?
Michael has said it’ll bring a total reality shift and will require adjustment. Mostly I’m just to concentrate on breathing, after the Reval; i.e., on experiencing what is:
“The most important thing you will do is simply breathe. Because your world as you know it, will have shifted.
“So it is not to hire people. It is not to find a new place to live. It is not to engage everybody. It is just to breathe and from that place of centred, anchored breathing, then to proceed.” (4)
“Give yourself the opportunity to breathe, to allow this shift in reality, in what you have described as your personal landscape, to sink in.” (5)
“The reason why we say take a week off, is to simply allow the new reality to seep in and for you to have moments of glee and panic and discovery and conversation.” (6)
I can imagine a few moments of “glee and panic”! We shall see.
Will it turn my head so that I begin to seek happiness outwardly? Maybe it will!
But not for long, I predict. I think I’m too far gone, having found where the divine states live (in the heart). I know that money cannot buy love or bliss or peace.
Footnotes
(1) Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Aug. 21, 2015. Hereafter AAM.
(2) “Mary: Circles of Light,” channelled by Pamela Kribbe, August 7, 2013 at https://www.jeshua.net.
(3) Loc. cit.
(4) “Archangel Michael: You are Not Crazy,” June 6, 2015, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2015/06/06/archangel-michael-you-are-not-crazy/ .
(5) AAM, Feb. 20, 2018.