No sooner did I write these words yesterday:
“We are assembling and speaking out, writing and filming. All it will take is one galvanizing event and I think we’ll respond as a world.”
than I flashed on the most galvanizing event in my life.
This was for me a lived-through experience so I know what it feels like to be galvanized.
The event in question happened in June 1986. I became aware that I was dissociated. (1)
My then girlfriend, Lorna, and I were at Expo 86, when she suddenly turned to me and said, “Do you know that you have the profile of an abused child?”
Two sides of me stood forth – the one I present to others and the one I present only to myself – and they both said, “Yes!” at the same time. And both turned to the other and said, “Who are you?”
An explosion went off in me. I realized what had happened.
My Dad had yelled at me from inches in front of my face when I was seven years old and I shattered into a thousand pieces. Only at age 40, in this exchange with Lorna, did I realize I led a double … or rather a fractured … life.
I exploded like Krakatoa. I vented for what seemed like two weeks. (Of course I stayed off by myself.) That was the first milestone in my recovery.
I now knew what I needed to do. I needed to look at all the dissociation in my life and call everyone back home.
Nevertheless, it wasn’t till age 58 that, with the help of my therapist brother Paul, I finally fused back into one piece again – 51 years awkward, unconfident, hurting and not knowing why.
Now I was … well, normal. I had not been normal all these years. I’d been abnormal.
Welcome home, Steve. (2)
So that day in 1986 is an example of a galvanizing event. Notice it was an event in awareness. I became aware of something and I erupted like a volcano. That’s how powerful awareness can be.
We call it “redpilling” now, but some otherwise sleepy-eyed folks are going to be awakening soon and they too could be going off like a volcano.
As I said yesterday, how we respond to the galvanizing events of others can make it an opportunity for them or create a hurricane.
I think the other side is hoping that we respond from the divine qualities. I spoke about calmness yesterday, but also equanimity, detachment, impartiality.
I think it’s hoped that we offer shelter from the storm – which is upon us – peaceful, dependable, committed. For me that’s what a lightworker does.
(1) Eventually I would come to think of myself as the Humpty Dumpty Man.
(2) Fifty-one years of being unsure of myself, having no ground to stand on, always giving way or exploding to get my own way. Never knowing what made me so unstable.
And now I did.