No experience should be wasted.
Even when I drop a brick on my own foot, it shouldn’t be wasted.
Apart from my egregious misappraisal of the man I heard speaking [Lindsay Graham], I did get to watch myself in the situation that resulted.
Years ago I would have dropped through the floor. For months afterwards I’d cringe at the memory.
But, after Xenia, I never ceased to smile through the whole discussion. I was happy.
This has never happened to me before: Happiness and I did not travel together. But now we do.
It seems to have something to do with having the connective passageway between me and whatever that was (the Self, a Light) cleared out. There’s a more direct connection between the everyday me and it through the emotions.
None of this comes with a manual. The Self did not introduce itself to me and leave its business card. It did not say, “Now I’m going to operate in this way. Watch for me here.” I have to figure it all out.
I gave the example earlier of happiness – an unheard of state for me, the Grinch. That was the Self communicating through the emotions, I think.
One of the things I’ve distinguished out in myself is a new sense of confidence. As it turns out, I’m not a slimeball fatherhater deep down. I’m as innocent as the driven snow.
That does provide a firm foundation, not for arrogance which is like a toxic fume to a deeper level of consciousness, but for confidence based on knowing who we are – that innocence, purity, and naturalness. And gentleness. And evidently happiness.
Shankara really described how it’s become for me since that experience:
“Once we become conscious, even dimly, of the Atman [the Self], the Reality within us, the world takes on a very different aspect. It is no longer a court of justice but a kind of gymnasium.” (1)
Yes, life has become a gymnasium for me now, rather than a court of justice. I swing on the rings.
The connection with my Self has also created a rise in my emotional floor. I don’t go below that floor any longer and its level has risen.
I don’t get dismayed these days. A feeling will come along that used to drag me down and it can’t find a foothold. These are residual gifts of that sight of the Self at Xenia.
But one has to discover what has changed and only on discovering it can we really access it; otherwise it lies hidden, latent.
Imagine having your wiring rearranged by some of the deeper experiences and being left without a handbook on your New You. That may face the ascended ones.
Back to politics. The thing I found most reassuring and delightful was the caliber of your speaking. No one was rude. Almost no one pointed the finger. I’m not nursing any wounds. I hope you’re not.
I learned your feelings about various aspects of politics, heard how deep the subject runs for you, and discovered that I had no commitment to look into the political scene in any depth. Having seen that, at last I feel able to detach myself from politics.
It was nice to e-meet you all. I enjoyed our discussion. I feel very hopeful about lightworker collaboration in the future as a result of it.
All for the price of a brick.
(1) Shankara in Swami Prabhavananda and Christopher lsherwood, Shankara’s Crest-Jewel of Discrimination. Hollywood: Vedanta Press, 1975; c1947, 24.