Through the Matrix, Chapter Fourteen:
Lost In The Woods
That day in the woods was one of the most lovely days of my life. I never once felt sad or lonely, or even alone. I found myself walking deeper and deeper into the woods without a care in my mind.
That was my first mistake. It was not a mistake to release my cares and woes, but it was a mistake, or maybe it was Destiny, when I fell over the cliff because I was not paying attention to where I was going.
I have been walking in the woods since I was a small child, but I always stayed pretty close to the village and learned young to make markers along my trail so that I would know how to get back. However, this day, I was so blissful and feeling full of adventure that I did not leave any markers.
It was my stomach growling for food that took me from my reverie. “Well, I guess it is time to go back to my spot by the big tree. I was smart enough to save half of that sandwich there.” However, after I had walked for quite a while, I realized that I was going in circles.
“How can this be?” I shouted into the woods. “I have walked the woods for years. Why would I get lost now?” I asked myself, trying not to be concerned. The woods were huge, and I grew up hearing stories of people who disappeared off into the woods and were never seen again.
“No, No!” I shouted off into the woods. “This cannot be. I never get lost in the woods,” but the woods did not reply. “WHY?” I cried up into the treetops. “I never get lost in the woods!” But, the woods were still quiet.
In fact, the woods were too quiet. I did not hear the birds. I did not hear the bees, and I could barely hear the comforting sound of the wind blowing through the trees. In fact, there was no wind. Everything was still. All the animal creatures were quiet and unseen, as if they were hiding from something or someone.
Therefore, I decided that I needed to hide, too. I decided that I needed to return to my sleeping space and wait there until I got centered. However, when I went to where I was sure that space was, I could not find it anywhere.
Now, I was starting to get frightened. I had never been frightened in the woods, but as I looked around, I saw that all the animals seemed to be hiding, as well. “Oh no!” I cried. Maybe hunters from another Village have come again to harm our Village and damage our woods.
Now I was really afraid! In fact, I was so afraid that I started to run. I had learned long ago not to run in the woods, as there were hidden roots to trip over and many precipices that were not visible until you were….. “THERE.” I yelled as I stepped onto some soft ground, which gave way under my feet and sent me rushing down a steep hill.
I had become confused by my fear and self-doubt and had forgotten to avoid the very area that had sent me tumbling head over heels down the steep hill, which led directly to a cliff. I knew about this cliff, and had always avoided it, as well as the steep hill that I was now unconditionally rolling down.
And then it happened. I was falling off the cliff, completely out of control. I tucked into a ball to try to protect my body and called to Shalone. I was awakened by a soft voice who was patting my face dry with a warm cloth. I could not open my eyes until the dirt was washed off and cool water was poured over my face.
I was in deep shock and did not feel any pain, but I knew that that was a bad sign, not a good one. I was disassociating from my body. In fact, I could feel myself gently lifting up. This “lifting up” was the most loving, wonderful, safe, and kind feeling I had ever felt.
Then, I saw myself—yes, it was like there were two of me. I seemed to be floating above my body, but my body was also standing in some form of line. “Oh,” I remembered. “I am dead now, and I am standing in line to be directed to my “frequency of reality.”
“What?” I thought to my self. “How would I know about a frequency of reality?”
To my surprise, I heard the kindest, most gentle voice I had ever heard. The voice was as loving as Shalone, but it was NOT Shalone. “Yes, I am definitely dead.” I thought. However, I had no fear or sorrow.
“Yes dear, the body that you have been wearing is now dead, but you, the essence that fills that body to make you “alive” can never die. That body is your “Lightbody,” and it will take you to the higher planes of reality.
It is true that I still had no sorrow, but I guess I was a bit angry at myself.
“That is a common response for someone who has had an accident,” spoke the kind being. “Your earth vessel had no time to prepare your thoughts and emotions. Therefore, you may feel disoriented for a while.”
“Disoriented!” I thought, “What about sad, angry, disappointed and terrified?”
It was then that I felt the deeply loving, accepting, all-knowing energy field surround my body. I figured it must be an energy field because the body that I was wearing in that reality was transparent and of soft golden and pink hues. As I looked at this body, it seemed as if it looked back at me.
Almost in response to my thoughts the loving Being seemed to whisper into my heart saying, “Do you want to go back to your body? It is very wounded, but you will likely heal because your friends from the Village will soon find you and will lovingly care for you.”
“I have friends who will lovingly caring for me?” I tried not to be too rude. “I didn’t think that anyone in the whole Village cared about me at all,” I said as I felt tears roll from my eyes.
“How can I have tears when I am dead?” I said to the voice, which was now taking on a body and a face. “Oh MY,” I cried out to the lovely, sweet and kind being. “YOU are comforting ME!”
It was then that I began to cry uncontrollably. For the first time in my life, or is this my death, someone comforted me. Or, was this was the first time that I ever let any one comfort me?
“We understand, dear Shara Lynn, that you have had very little love or protection in this life. In fact, only Shalone was there to meet your emotional needs. But you asked for this kind of incarnation because you wanted to learn how to be strong and independent. And, you have learned your lesson well. When you go back, you can decide if you want to change your life.”
“Go back?” I asked. “How can I go back when I am dead?”
“Our dear One, your physical body is not totally dead yet, but it is wounded gravely and you, the you that we would call ‘the Essence of this body and lifetime,’ must decide if you wish to return to that form.”
“Wish to return?” I asked. “Do you mean that I could go back to that body?”
“Yes dear, but it won’t be easy. Your body is very wounded, and you will need to allow other people to care for you. In fact, that is why your Soul decided to allow this fall.”
“My Soul knew I could fall, and it did not help me?” I said with an angry voice.
“No dear, that is not what we mean. What we mean is that, if you had been listening to your Soul, you would have been able to hear its warning. However, you chose not to hear the voice of your Soul warning you. Therefore, you entered into the Initiation that you are now experiencing.”
“Wait, wait, I don’t understand anything that you have said!” Now I know I was rude this time. Why was I being rude to a being who was obviously there to help me? I was about to apologize and ask the kind voice what I should do, but suddenly, I was back in my physical body. An,d OH, the pain was beyond description. Why did I not allow that lovely voice to assist me? Why am I so angry all the time?
“When will you be able to grow into the Higher Being you have always been?” said the loving voice.
Then, I was alone, with just my PAIN!