Back in 1995, I had an outbreak of colitis and was put on a really deadly regimen of Prednizone. If the colitis didn’t kill me, I thought the Prednizone would.
I lost my memory as a side effect. And, as a configuration-management administrator (1) in a large software firm, I was the collective memory of the production side of our company – the keeper of hardware and software baselines for the different product “builds.” I was paid to remember.
Now, flash forward to these present times, when I again have lost my memory (many others at the Sedona gathering have also lost theirs, we all discovered), I’m in an entirely-different situation. The same vasana is going off (“I cannot forget”), but the rising energies have made it inappropriate.
Now, as I understand it, memory loss is being done to release me from Third Dimentia.
Third Dimentia includes my core issues, conditioned patterns of behavior, the masks I wear, the lines in my scripts, the facial expressions designed to win the day for me with you (“he’s got that look“), that special way of walking, all that nonsense.
What gives me ultimate confidence in letting go of all this? Ramana Maharshi did some time ago. He said words to the effect that whatever is real cannot be let go of, try as we might, and whatever is unreal never existed.
Whatever is real cannot be let go of; whatever is unreal ultimately falls way. Only that which is real survives.
What did exist, exists now, and always will exist? Only God. Nothing else.
So, knowing that only the divine continues to exist no matter what, I drop things with careless abandon. Remember Mary Magdalene telling us to love with abandon? I’m willing, in short bursts, to let go with abandon.
In fact today I watched myself, having gone on a walk, drop everything. Absolutely everything in that moment. What a feeling of peace that created.
AND my willingness to drop it all is helped along the way by the love and bliss that rush in to replace what I let go of, a product of the ever-rising energies. Mother Nature abhors a vacuum and is filling the space of whatever we vacate with increasing amounts of love.
The galactics are said to have a device on their ships where, when you walk through a doorway, everything about you is instantly sanitized and freshened. It’s as if we’re walking through such a device right now, in very slow motion.
To get back to memory loss: I’m now feeling comfortable with the idea of having lost my memory, after going through my initial shock and fear around the subject (stemming from my 1995 vasana or core issue).
I’m feeling comfortable enough to begin experimenting with it. I allow myself an hour a day to be blissfully without memory and not require myself to do anything about it or apologize for it. I want to see where that’ll take me.
Fortunately I can make it a part of my job (awareness writing). This road seems to lead to blissful ignorance. I want to see what’s really around that next bend.
I’m still living in the afterglow from the Bridge to Now in Sedona. Not ready to return to the real or unreal world but I still haven’t woken up yet either. You’ll be the first to know if and when I do.
(1) The configuration management administrator is responsible for the software and hardware baseline; specifically, for recording, tracking, and reporting on the changes to any one baseline.