Credit: billbovill.com
I said yesterday that I’d look more closely at the growth work I did over my holidays.
I wrote this article before reading Sandra Walter’s latest, in which she said:
“Transparency and disclosure is a global unfoldment; every heart and mind will have to come clean. Revelation affects everyone, not just *the bad guys* – and you can accelerate all of it through your own transparency and disclosure. Express all that is within your heart, and the collective will reflect that.” (1)
I get the impact of the third wave she describes in her article. And I so agree on the importance of transparency and disclosure – our own, never mind the bad guys.
Without us disclosing and letting go of our unworkable ways, our relationships will only get more and more strained as we head into the more refined vibrations.
Take me. I made a profession as a child of being a complainer. Now the basic negativity of that profession colors everything I do. In the more refined vibrations, I’m going to stick out like a sore thumb.
To return to the growth work, the trigger for it needs to remain private, but I fell into a depression as a result.
I had a disastrous social exchange while inhabiting this down space. I became frustrated, sharp with another, pointed in my remarks, altogether objectionable. I should never have ventured out.
In the reflection that followed, I became aware that not just one, but a number of areas in my life were simply not working. My conditioned behavior, which had never really worked but which many people caringly turned a blind eye to, was starting to cost me and others big time.
I looked for help and one source was my guidance. When I was in the pit of despair, I received this apt counsel, by way of a thought that didn’t come from me: “You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought,” someone said.
That really rang a bell with me, for some unknown reason. It connected with my situation at some deep level that I didn’t fully understand.
You’d have to unpack that sentence to really get how appropriate it was for me.
I have to say more about my childhood career choice: the whiner and complainer.
As the youngest in the family, the only way I could get attention was to whine and complain. So I became a professional at it. The squeaky wheel that got the grease, Always seeing the negative side of things. Always seeing what wasn’t working. Oh my. A life sentence of negativity and objectionableness.
In the amount of pain I felt at seeing this, I saw how my tactics of negativity needed to stop.
I worked for days with this one piece of guidance.
But there was also a second source. Three local friends in my life operate on a similar, wonderful philosophical principle. Just purely by coincidence. They don’t know each other well.
I knew there was something about what they did that worked but I could never describe it or get the hang of it.
Then, one day, I was hurting bad and looking for a way out. In response to a now-forgotten question, one of the three said to me “I’d rather be happy than right.” Again the light went on.
Yes, that’s what all three of them seemed to know and practice in common. That remark sank right into me. The realization that occurred at that moment was strong enough to cause a paradigm shift. I dropped wanting to be right rather than happy and took up the reverse.
I saw that I’d always lived by the opposite precept: I’d rather be right than happy. A person following that line of behavior drives people away. It fits right in with being the complainer – the righteous complainer. Dead right.
So switching from where I was to where my three friends are was definitely a plus for me, a benefit, an advantage.
Perhaps notice that I’m moving from one line of behavior to another here. I’m changing my mind and changing my behavior. Such a thing is possible and usually realization furnishes the juice, the power to make a change of mind and behavior.
Being motivated to change is not our usual MO. Usually we resist attempts to change us or have us change. But when we hurt enough, as I did at that moment, we can make needed changes, without resistance.
I now have to true up to this guidance and assimilate it, allowing it to turn me in a more favorable direction than I’ve been in.
(Concluded in Part 2, tomorrow.)
Footnotes
(1) “Acceleration and the Solar Eclipse: Making the Choice,” by Sandra Walter, August 29, 2016, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2016/08/30/sandra-walter-acceleration-solar-eclipse-making-choice/