Reader Daniel Bell sends in this searching reflection.
I have walked through fields sodden with the blood and entrails of my enemy and comrades. I have rushed head long into battle with but one thought, to dispatch my opposition.
My fevered mindset a product of misguided loyalty and allegiance to manipulating cowards. But then, as if in a blink of an eye, I have also softly strolled through high mountain meadows deep in thought and bathed by their tranquility. I have sat enthralled to the sound of a voice so divine it has eclipsed any intrusion. I have given birth and ended enough life to pull back and seek solace within that faint voice whispering within deep hollow chambers always close by.
To survive, to live another day only to face that repetition in endless succession. Thus is the sum total of my countless incarnations upon this desolately inhospitable planet we call home. Through it all I remembered that there would come a time that my struggles would not be for naught.
There was a Divine method to all the apparent madness. The carnage and chaos would give birth one final time to the one writing these words; one finally integrated with enough accumulated wisdom to transcend this idea of self preservation and self importance. One that could effect change in himself and thus instigate a cascade to spill over into the hearts of others. All the while balanced precariously between the insanity of the limitations of this physical reality and the freedom of the ethereal expansion.
In a way to be focused solely on perpetuating only oneself with what you need was quite easy. To take on the task of reversing the accumulated perception of isolation and unworthiness was hauntingly formidable. I was chosen for my insatiable desire to find my way home. That thirst was driven by the intensity with which I had been immersed in. It was inseparable from me, or so I thought.
Once here, the illusion ultimately proved substantially convincing. I survived and fought countless incursions upon my physical form in order to preserve my illusion, always gaining always advancing to this inevitable conclusive lifetime. I will see my destiny through, no longer by my ability to fight, but by my choice to believe that I am that part of me that always saw beyond what I had to do, I am that what I always quietly knew I was.