Notes From the Center of the Spiral, andreastar00.com
Yesterday morning, my husband and I went to an interview with the US visa office. This interview was the last phase of the passage through the keyhole of this process to get my husband documented and approved for permanent residency here in the US and permission to legally work here.
The worst part of this was the waiting for the interview. This interview itself lasted about 20 minutes, no muss, no fuss. All the anxiety about it was truly unnecessary, as the woman who interviewed was professional, nice, and really helpful.
We are now just waiting for the green card to replace the temporary work authorization card we’ve already been issued. In the meantime, working, moving, or even traveling back to see family in Canada is all approved and legal.
I was thinking we were doing pretty well on the anxiety issue leading up to this, but the truth was revealed when 
instead of feeling like celebrating after we left, all we really wanted to do was take a nap. The release of pent-up energy around it was massive and we felt physically and emotional drained. It wasn’t until I had time to rest and review what happened that I came to some important realizations.
I want to share what those were here, as I wonder how many of us have these same sorts of beliefs hiding out and using up our energies and coloring our perceptions. The hints were all there and yet I still didn’t get it until I had the time to consider how it was devastating physically to release. Only then was I able to take a look to see what that was so could I get to the root of it.
My default position to manage the anxiety was to focus on gratitude, and this got me to the interview in one piece. That’s the first piece to the puzzle, and an important one.
Still, after the fact, I was left wondering what the use of all the suppressed anxiety was in the first place. In hindsight, it was a massive waste of energy relating to nothing based in reality. Of course, there was no way to know this up front, but still, the evidence is in now and this is a fact.
So, then where is the evidence for the ‘need’ for anxiety? Looking for this piece to the puzzle led me to understand that beneath the surface of all this was the fact that I’m deeply offended by how someone (read anyone) could decide to separate us. The whole idea of this stirred up anger and hostility inside me, which of course, is masking fear.
Also, like many other lightworkers, I have this dislike of ‘authority’ figures in general. An aspect of this journey into and through duality has got us separating into groups the good guys and the bad guys. For me, the bad guys have often seemed to be those who are in the sectors of government and finance. Sound familiar?
In my review of this interview, and the actual experience with this good woman who conducted it, she asked us to swear we would tell the truth. When she did, she looked me right in the eye and I looked right back. In that instant, I saw and understood something about her. It took me until the next day to process all this, but here it is.
I saw that she saw herself as standing as a guardian at the portal into my country. This is not so different than what I do when I guard the forum as a moderator. With love and discernment I do this, and the same is true of her. It is good work and necessary for the good of the group, keeping out elements that seek to harm or disrupt harmony. (1)
While this sounds so simple, it was a profound moment that has me reconsidering some of the hidden beliefs I have going on about how I consider people in certain positions or job placements. The fact that there are corrupt persons out there doesn’t excuse my failure to recognize those who aren’t or to have expectations that someone is corrupt just because they have a certain job. Not everyone in any profession has bad intent. This is just not so.
In other words, my anger and fear had nothing to do with her or her position. Nothing at all. None of my issues here were any reflection on this woman as a being or as an officer for that matter.
One of the things I know from my guidance team is that there are lighworkers all through our world in all areas. Not all of them may have heard of Ascension or read this blog, but they are holding the light and they are doing what they do from where they are in ways that are coming from the heart.
Once again, I’m blessed to get the attitude adjustment I need to go forward. It’s my reward for paying attention to the message of my body in this case, and that’s another story I may soon be sharing.
Thank you all again for your support for us through all these months.
Footnotes
(1) Steve: As a former refugee adjudicator, I resonate with what Andrea says here. That job too was to guard the portals of my country and I know what she means by saying this moment of swearing the claimant to tell the truth is an important one. I knew no one who was corrupt in my circle of adjudicators.