Pretty crowded under here!
As one reader said, we must have hit a collective nerve. I’ve never seen so many responses to one article. Thank you, Suzi, for collating.
Let me cite a few lines from several, without identifying responders. It’s a small room I live in, but a big bed. Plenty of room under it for all Pleiadians, Lemurians, loonies, moonies…. all cut from the same cloth! We are one crazy bunch!
To save myself from appearing egregiously self-serving, I’ve taken out many of your sweet and kind words, but I did read them and appreciate them.
Thanks for sharing, I thought I was the only loony in the loony bin. I know about myself in many lives, the good and the not so good. Then I came into understanding that I came as a Master to offer encouragement and help to others to master their lives and get ready for ascension. I just completed the book, I was to write with the instructions, “XXX.” Then I found out I am a Pleiadian.
Yes, this is the time to come clean of our past lives. It is part of the process that all lives and energies are cleaning out. I found out that my intelligence that allowed me to be Valedictorian and Phi Beta Kappa came from the masters. What a downer, as a great victim in domestic violence, all my life, I had that one shining place to remember. I have been going through this for several months with the last two weeks in bed. The energy shifts have been physically painful and flu-like. My heart chakra opening more was like a heart attack. My head is still not back in order. i woke up this morning in fear for the first time in ages, because it felt like someone else was inside me and I did not know who. I did find a person who understands to actually talk with. Any time you want to talk, I am around. M
Hi Steve, It was indeed brave to post such information about yourself, but I understand the need to do so. I have a very similar background. Having been born “different” to Orthodox XXX parents who told me I was a witch and crazy whenever I showed any kind of energy they were unfamiliar with certainly made me hide under the bed, and when I didn’t hide, I came out punching and fighting.
Having also grown up with mental and physical abuse, I was very angry, lonely and unloved, feeling that no one could understood me and I did not belong anywhere. For most of my life my psychic gifts and talents, my “knowing” of things my parents could not understand, and didn’t want to, also frightened my peers, not only in school, but family and friends as well made fun of me and see me as an “outsider” even today.
As I got older I did manage to find outlets for some of that “energy” by almost effortlessly excelling in whatever I undertook, and when I quickly reached the peak of what I set out to accomplish, I got bored and changed jobs and/or professions. Accomplishment was always so easy I accepted jobs I had no prior knowledge of or experience in, convincing interviewers that I was perfect for the job, which, to my own surprise, always turned out I was.
I have had six diversified successful careers, with numerous jobs in between and now, at this stage of life, not wanting to go backwards, I still find myself thinking about new challenges, which thanks to your sharing, Steve, has made me realize is the same “energy”, though a lot softer and easier to deal with now, that has never quite been allowed to have its full expression.
Now, at XXX years young, I have been, and will continue to be on a spiritual journey all my life, and am ever so grateful for the Grace I have been given to never stop searching and seeking my Truth, no matter how difficult and futile it may seem at times. For I recognize it is The Truth that has guided me, step by step, by step, by step, by step (Ugh, that is tiresome) to the Light, Love and Peace that has set me free. Who would have thunk it???? Your loving Sister, S
I love this article, it really resonates with me. It is such a deep sharing. In fact, I think you may be hitting a collective nerve. Just yesterday I was ruminating on my own anger and feeling of dis-empowerment and lack of confidence that I have had all my life, despite the fact that i have incredible talents and skills etc etc. I was thinking yesterday about how I have NEVER allowed it to come out, and when it has, it has been too much for me or too much for others so it just got stuffed back again and again. And my partner feels the same way. Plus I can’t handle his energy sometimes which is hard for him too. Maybe not everyone out there will resonate with this article, but believe me, there are many who will. I feel that in sharing yourself in this way and by making yourself vulnerable, it will serve to strengthen your heart center and as you well know, being a warrior of the heart is a powerful thing. … Blessings and Love, C
Steve, I love you my brudder!!! Who you are and the experiences you describe are my own lol. I have been waiting for you to do this for a long, long time lol. I could tell from reading pretty much everything you write on the site for two years that you were not acknowledging some huge components of your soul force lol. LOVE IT THANKS FOR SHARING. YOU ARE FINE, MAN. LOVE WHO YOU ARE!!! There’s nothing wrong with being immensely strong — I, too, have felt great shame because of it in the past….
Seriously, my lunch was nearly flying out of my mouth as I read due to the comfortable laughter of recognition and familiarity that overtook me. Repeatedly throughout the piece. Just incredible in such a multitude of ways!!! Almost fell off the back of the chair in excitement!!!
Radiant doves and enormous gratitude, my friend!!!
d
It’s funny…I haven’t been reading much online these days, but for some reason I was drawn to this article. I relate 100%…there is a “Kali” in me that is so frightening at times I feel that if I let her fully out, it would be devastating. I am a small woman, but despite this and the fact that I have never had any formal training, I instinctively know how to fight and have done things I can’t believe myself, brought large men to the ground with very little effort when I worked as a bartender/manager in NYC when I was in my 20s and 30s.
I have also been told my glare is terrifying. When I quit smoking last year I freaked out at a man who approached me in a parking lot for money, and literally sent him running away, screaming…what did he SEE? In my heart, I am a Loving, generous and compassionate person who rescues animals and bakes for everybody all the time…but there is someone else in there who scares the heck out of me! Thank you Steve for sharing, it made me feel a little less crazy today! Blessings & Namaste, M
Steve, thank you for your piece today about “hiding under the bed and more.” It struck a strong chord in me. I too have spent a life being angry and not knowing the “real” reason for it. I too have spent a life shutting down my expression of myself on many levels, let alone that anger that’s haunted me. I just wanted say thanks.
T
“YES YES YES to all of it…and thanks so very much. You eloquently, as always, communicated what has been screaming inside many of us. I feel understood and connected this morning. Even though I do not need validation…it sure is nice when it finds you Q
lol… oh Steve ~ you are so not alone… I am XX, and in some ways my life has been much like yours, except my father never beat me… (1) ~~ however my mother has never had much use for me…. I spoke with invisible ones when I was 4 years old… thought that was natural & that everyone did….lol… they did a couple of little miracles then for me too… so I was marked as different right away… thankfully (then) I said nothing about what had happened (only to save my butt from a beating…lol)
and perhaps being female has made my journey a little easier to bear, for as such I probably was more in touch with my feelings and knowings much earlier than you had the opportunity to be.
Just know there are many, many of us out here who know what the meaning of crazy is…. and you do not qualify… nor do I… and as for sounding grandiose in any way…. my dear one….we are all grand angels who took off our wings to play a little game called Human, and our object was to find our way back home…. Grand Angels be us all~T
I just loved you sharing your Hiding under the Bed article… I read it with open heart and found that so many of us fall into similar circumstances.
Well done and much appreciated.
In Love and Light
D, Canada
Dear Steve, Please don’t go and hide under the bed for it took such great courage for you to share your personal feelings and experiences with your readers. These feelings and experiences were hiding within you so why would you return to hiding again? It kind of defeats your purpose.
However I hope that you will allow forgiveness (not that you are being judged by anyone but for your own healing) to release this burden that you are carrying so that you can use your beautiful gifts that you have in a way that will make you smile. Steve, you have so much to offer yourself and humanity and I know you will move through this and grow it to understanding, compassion, acceptance, allowing and bliss. S
Thanks for being so brave, Steve! Many of us will be facing the same things the more we know … and you also provide us possible clues to why we might have some over-reactions of our own in the old 3D life. Many thanks! Namaste, K
It is so lovely to have some company under the bed!! I have had a rough ride, am isolated in the crowd and frustrated many times in the walk and so it is important to me that you know that this site has been more of a gift to the world than you could possibly fathom if you are feeling this way…maybe ask Michael.
I wanted to send you a bit of encouragement, usually when I hear you all speak of being unsure if you should be saying something that is what speaks to me the most, it is in the confusion that we are closest because it is there that we share what is unique to us, those of us on the front line, as opposed to those still in slumber.
I too have past life recollections, a knowing of who I truly am or have been, at least in part, and share your hesitancy to name it, some would be envious at the sound but as with most things a heavy handed blessing is balanced with a heavy handed burden, so I do understand your bewilderment now that you have more of an intimacy with yourself, it is an odd mix that we have, this strong desire to know ourselves and almost shame of having found out our greatness.
Showers of Blessings!!
~R
Thanks Steve for the article about hiding under the bed. I have been like this for the last 4 years when my Shaman teacher told me I was that spirit known as XXX. (2) I was not surprised as I have known of a few other lives of mine. I had always known I was a light warrior but preferred to lay low and not be seen or heard as when I spoke my life could be in danger as I was always called the crazy lady as my life ideas were not main stream.
I felt I didn’t belong here and was always on the outside looking in but had never really had a rest so to speak from the lifetimes . I have always felt betrayed, very angry from abuse when I was little. I realize now why when I heard “voices” I try to ignore them. I also know that everyone that was with me in XXX’s lifetime is also here with me now. Sounds like you have some of that warrior energy going on. Yes, we also have been on the dark side of the warrior stance.~K
I’ve been a regular on your site for the last couple of years and your article today moved me and I felt the urge to write you. … (3)
My intent in writing you is to show you that you are supported, not weird, not alone, not crazy, understood, admired, appreciated, and honored for what you do. Doing what you do publicly is quite a task and I believe you when you say it is difficult.
You’ve made a difference in my life and you don’t even know me. So thank you again for what you do. -S
Steve: Just wanted to let you know that I totally and completely relate to your posting. I, too, was tested high in the IQ dept. (XXX) and have encountered so very many of the things you detail in your blog today.
The inner fury wanting to be unleashed, especially with respect to changing the world for the better. Violence growing up, fear was my companion every day as a child, which turned into the anger you describe.
I’ve come a long way since then but haven’t mastered it all yet. Every day is a spiritual challenge, but still we hang in. So … know that you are certainly NOT alone and you have kindred spirits around you…compadres who get it. In the end I know it will all be okay but the trip has been a challenge.
wonderful sharing today. … i’ve been experiencing similar things. we needed to hear all you said. i’m sure it’s a blessing for many, many folks.
thanks again, b
Thank you so very much for continuing to share with us from your open heart! The example you set is awesome and its stimulating for each person that comes in contact with it and in fact, even those that don’t. This entire process we go through here in this illusion is designed to awaken ourselves and within that example of awakening Self, it also helps to awaken “others”.
Yes, I identify with what you’ve written here. I too have felt that deep internal power within Self for much of this lifetime. For example: I knew from the age of about 13 that the Ascended Masters felt like colleagues to me. Others around me somehow always seemed to view them as somehow “above” them. I knew differently from my own inner knowingness. We are all equal, we are all one.
The difficultly arises from the programming that teaches this: Its ‘egotistical’ to acknowledge that we are anything more than this puny human body we see in the mirror.
In fact, we are vast multi-dimensional beings of massive power, and capacity! We each carry the power of the Universe within us!
Its time we cast off the old programming and Remember Who We Are. We are vast loving beings that transcend time and space, we transcend all limitations because we are Spirit in human form.
I invite you to come out from under your bed my Brother…..I love you! I love the wonderful example you set for All of us from moment to moment. I love that you’ve stayed true to our mission all these years.
I’m with you in each moment my friend…..I laugh with you, I cry with you, I feel what you feel! I AM the I AM.
I will never apologize for Who I AM. I will only celebrate….
If you ever need me I’m here and at your service.
In Peace, Joy, Love, Remembrance, D
Dear Steve, “Hiding Under the Bed” went right to the quick. P
Reflecting on what Steve wrote about having all this power/anger inside:
What I experience is somewhat similar. During moments I feel frustrated/annoyed/angry that I have not put all these inner powers to the best possible use. The best example is helping others to heal/transform. I realize that each person has their own life path that goes back quite a ways and certainly I do not always know other people’s karmic situation or why they chose the life they did.
However, I feel that, if someone asks me, that I should (horrible word choice but all that is coming for now) be able to successfully assist in their healing/transformation…..whether by actually laying hands on them or just by sharing love, light & energy. It just feels like that is, at least in part, what I AM about at this point in ‘time’.
So, when that does not manifest, it feels like I have not fully put these powers to their best use yet.
Maybe that will evolve into being sometime soon.
Thanks for all your sharing.
Peace
S
I just wanted to thank Steve for displaying the courage to be exposed/vulnerable that drew me to this site to begin with.
His article about having a sense of immense power resonated very much with me. I’ve felt similarly throughout the entirety of my life.
I don’t know how to use this power consciously in my human form. “with great power comes great responsibility.” I’ve been fearful of my responsibility. I have not sought the conscious knowledge about how to use this power due to my fear of failure or of creating harm in some way. I’ve instead kept this feeling, this knowingness of power, my own personal secret. I tap into it, I think, when I focus on sending supportive, loving energy to others, but I do not use it for “myself”. Perhaps that’s the root of the fear – it’s okay to use the power for others, but not for myself, lest it be tainted by ego, by the smallness of my Earth human 3D mind.
I have this sense of knowing – as Steve mentioned in the article, the knowing of the mysteries of the universe.
I think I’m here to be a pillar. To use my power to send love/energy/light/encouragement to Gaia & the awakening humans. We all have such immense power within us. I think this ascension is helping each of us remember what that power feels like and how to build relationship with this power. The concept of power in 3D Earth is difficult. It is this idea of power that is the struggle, I think, especially for those of us who have spent so much effort imagining a balanced world, a world where all beings are equal, loved, and cherished. “Power” has such a negative connotation for light workers, I think, that we shy away from acknowledging it within the grandness of our being.
Maybe instead of power, we can re-imagine that pool of energetic possibility as that: energetic potential. The sound of songs yet to be sung. The breathtaking colors yet to be created.
Anyhow, thank you, Steve for this article today. I understand feeling exposed and I appreciate your willingness to experience that feeling in order to bring to us such well-considered and insightfully honest revelations about your process. This article has allowed me to consider my own process & relationship with knowingness, with power.
With much love and gratitude,
J
I believe that we are going to see the ripple effect of your courageous article “Hiding Under the Bed” — like the walls of Jericho falling down.
Oh my — you are so on target about the anger being projected and going round and round and not being resolved. For the past few weeks, I have been hiding under the bed (in a Box :-). Every time I opened my mouth it seemed that I ticked someone off, when my intent was to be loving and kind — and then I would run back under the bed.
I think that I have known consciously for quite some time that this energy had to begin to emerge. Your article brought out a “safe” feeling about just stepping forward — living my life and knowing that if my intent in pure, all will be well. …
Namaste, L
Hi Steve, I read your post today and it struck very close to home.I’ll try to keep a long story short-I’ve slept out under the stars for the last 3 summers on Mt. Shasta-“Amazing” things have happened.
One night myself and another man and woman (who at the time I considered far more spiritually evolved than me) were invited inside the mountain to Telos where we were escorted into a chamber that held the Akash-I was given a big box to open that contained the full regalia of a high priest of Telos
I was told to put it on and then my life as a high priest in Telos was fully revealed to me. I was then able to review all my past lives on the planet but would have no conscious recollection upon leaving as I was told this would distract me from my current mission in this life.
[S, I decided to leave out your exalted experiences with the mahavatar whom I also know of, but don’t know, as you do. I’m not sure I have your permission to repeat them but I do acknowledge them.]
I’ll probably be heading back to Mt. Shasta this summer for final instructions. My sense is that I’ll run into you this time around – your writing resonates so deeply that I’d be surprised if we haven’t crossed paths in the past. I know you’re busy – so no need to respond. Let the Fireworks begin!!! Love and Light, S
I can completely relate to this posting, after my own fashion. I am definitely keeping quiet inside myself “who I think I am” and some of what I have been told that hints at this, and really look forward to all of us unmasking. For now, just a bit of solidarity.
Thanks again
E
Hi Steve, thank you for your “share”. I feel a huge wave of love for you after reading this and want to give you an enormous hug. I hope you can feel it. With love, d
[I do, d. Haven’t heard from you in a while.]
I just had to say how much I cherish and applaud your courage and your honesty and willingness to be utterly exposed and vulnerable. It is so hard to do.
We are truly being forced to surrender. I am doing my best to come out of hiding. It is so freeing to do so but so embarrassing and frightening and painful at the same time!!! We have been taught to cover and hide. And that brings such shame, repression/suppression of our energy and then distortion of our power. The wounds of the past are soooo intense. We have wounded; we have been wounded. We get this but it doesn’t take the wounds away!
We have all heard that every sinner is a saint and every saint is a sinner but to really feel and accept, embrace ALL we are and all the roles we have played in our lifetimes is unimaginable to us in this state of being in 3D brain/dimension. Wow. Can you imagine if we could all deeply love Hitler, for example, and Jesus in the exact same way knowing the truth of who each one is? I love this quote form St Theresa Avila although I cannot find the exact wording. She said let me go to hell so that I can even love God from there. This is what it is all about and absolutely nothing else – to love all/oneself. I long for that state where I am in Love no matter what where who how why. Have a beautiful day. Thank you for you. L
Thank you for writing this share; it explains my own ‘power’ that I’ve been so afraid of and overwhelmed by.
The first time I experienced my anger/power it so scared the hell out of my ex-husband who at 6 ft 4 inches towered over my 5 ft 2 inch self) that I’ve hidden it as best I could all these years. I can count on my hand how often ‘it’ comes out. And I know that if necessary, I could do some serious damage to people. I can’t explain it too well myself but I know it’s there. I didn’t know it had any good reason to be there (I figured it was a leftover sort of reaction to my rough childhood.)
I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your openness because everything you wrote struck a chord in me. I am looking forward to your explanation of what the use of this power is or is going to be.
Thanks, D
What a release, relief, and revelation – with much more to come yet; you surely FELT every intense moment as you opened your whole Self to share with others the magnitude of your lifelong experiences and how they have impacted upon all that you do, all that you feel and all that you ARE – NOW!
I commend you for this unique and heartfelt sharing – it has ‘triggered’ some unusual experiences within me – and brought to the surface much that has been deliberately and secretly withheld deep inside of my own Self.
Your extraordinary bravery in expressing as you have will no doubt inspire others to think upon such an act! …
My heart has been touched. A
Footnotes
(1) I’m not sure I’d say my father “beat” me; not quite that bad. Slaps and kicks perhaps.
(2) K, I hear you. But others might ridicule you if I said who you were. So perhaps it can stay between you and me. I do say that I love that person you mentioned, honor her, study her life.
(3) S, thanks for your kind words. You can see I removed them. But I did hear them. Same for the rest of you.