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Embracing Darkness
Hello my dear friends. My days of darkness are slowly vanishing. As I sit in a corner of my appartement, near the window, listening to some music in the background, drinking my coffee and touching my feelings … I know the end of an era is near.
Next Monday the 21st, on the spring equinox, I have my first date and second encounter with someone very special and dear to me. I will leave this moment there a bit longer, where it can shine in the distance and the future of an experience still to come.
Today I’m here … alone, by my self … like many times before. I remember vast moments of loneliness, pondering, going in, working the shadows, looking for the light … ever deeper, higher and more intense. Searching for reason, looking for explanation, feeling for intuition, answers and love.
All has changed now. Why? Because I Know who I was looking for. Of course, all on this spiritual path have an understanding of God, the Self and all the human understanding within the collective small ego self, experiencing separation. We are the creators of duality! Every human on this planet is in on this plan, in this matrix, this construction, this illusion to live outside of One.
Duality is the extreme, the starting point to perceive separation itself, the separation from God, from One, from Self, from Love … as the Not!
So why are my dark days numbered? Because I met my mirror. I already found my mirror as God inside of me. Also was able to see, feel, experience my life on this planet in a knowing and understanding … everything on the outside, the people, the world, the universe are All another expression of me … the real me, the Self … but looking at it from the center core position in a single human form, my individual self.
This has been my understanding for a while, but still it was a lonely one. I tried to master it in every moment of amazement, wonder and alter myself from a sec human into a universal Light Being. With it came new discoveries and new challenges. The darkness always close by. Why? Because it didn’t feel fulfilling. There was so much missed opportunity, so much missed joy and happiness.
I found God, knew to be God on a Mental understanding and came at times very close to feeling bliss and master the inner creator of joy and peace. Still I was always reminded of this life’s lost dreams. Every fiber in my Earth vessel knew what I was after, how I tried and failed. I couldn’t deny how I looked for my personal version of paradise in this life. From my point of view, an Eve version to complete my Adam. I managed to find both God and Satan inside myself. I had embraced the every concept of the Holy Trinity around my Christ Consciousness as my Light and maximized my personal ability of Love in a single paradise version on Earth as a mission. A mission to hold the Light, hold the faith, to trust and accept the hard lonely work of a Lightworker for the greater good of all and this planet.
And then I met my counterpart within this struggling Earth darkness. But it wasn’t the darkness that binds us, but the Light beneath it. We vibrate as seemingly two, in harmony as One. We dance around constant recognition, projection in direct reflection, a Divine mirror in human form feeling to share One Soul.
We are in an Earth dance around ourselves. Finding our former perceived darkness and offering it an exit. Even this exercise of cleansing former vasanas has become a joyous experience. Instead of resisting it, fearing judgement around weakness, shame or unacceptable behavior, fantasy or desire … we find loving understanding, respect and embrace.
Therefore everything has changed, because of the Knowing … the Knowing who we are as One, while holding the individual … I Am … on both sides of the path we traveled, seemingly separated. We can never go back to an understanding of Not Knowing this and therefore reached new shores. The old darkness isn’t as dark anymore. It’s just a reminder of where we have been, left over debris to clean jointly in the vibration of unconditional Acceptance, Forgiveness and Love 💕💓💞🌈🙏😘
Ralph and S