Some columns are harder to write than others. Much of what’s happening to us, when communicated, sounds like bragging or strutting. But again, even that needs to be communicated. So here goes on this one.
I feel myself expanding. It’s the most subtle movement I’ve ever felt. And I take it that it’s the next place to go.
I first noticed it recently when I looked at all I’d be doing after the Reval. I’ll be setting up four new organizations, each with a different focus, and sitting on the board of a fifth, ostensibly helping out as much as I can.
In addition to all of this, AAM has said that writing remains my prime commitment.
I think of the cartoons of the Sixties showing what Gestaltist Fritz Perls called Top Dog and Underdog. Top Dog is how we present ourselves. Underdog is what we’re really thinking and feeling.
Top Dog is saying “I can do this.” Underdog is screaming “Eeeeeeeeeee-yikes!!!”
I expect myself to do all this with as much grace as I can muster. I’ll have to let go of such things as the need for a lot of free and private time. This introvert will probably experience the full glare of public scrutiny, which could be daunting. And there’s always the fear of making a grievous and costly mistake.
If I were not raising love from within myself, I don’t know where I’d get the juice, the energy, to carry on.
The inner system, whose successful functioning depends on access to the love that arises from within, is taking shape almost too subtly to be seen. It can only be sensed or felt.
I was looking at this crazy situation I’ve willingly created for myself, this seemingly-impossible lifestyle and how it can be made to work. And it was then that I detected this … I want to say … expanding force inside myself.
In the face of sensing it, I had the confident feeling that I’ll be able to handle this, that I have powers within myself that I know not of, that’ll expand to allow me to do the job.
SaLuSa predicted this occurrence this past February:
“Most of you are but shadows of your real selves and as consciousness levels continue to rise, you will learn more about your real selves. You are far greater than you imagine or are even prepared to believe, but the truth will ‘feel’ right as deep down you know the real you is a Being of Light. Whilst in the lower dimensions you have been acting from a limited consciousness, but it is now expanding due to the higher vibrations. …
“The real you is multi-talented and fully experienced to deal with life on Earth, but better still to move into the higher dimensions.” (1)
The Divine Mother also assured us:
“You may not know the fullness of your spectrum of your divinity, but dear hearts, I do.
“So, I give you, I instill within your very core, greater clarity, not only that you will know yourself and the wonder of yourself more clearly, but that you will see and know and understand and be guided in phenomenal clarity of where to step, how to proceed, what is not only not going to divert you but what will take you directly to your heart’s desires, to your highest creations.” (2)
For me, this sense of expansion and confidence isn’t intellectual knowledge. It isn’t realized knowledge either. Right now it exists for me as experiential knowledge. I feel it within myself, as the Mother and SaLuSa suggested. I have an inner experience of confidence and calm in the face of circumstances that seem totally amazing and unbelievable.
If it were up to realized knowledge, I’d expect a transformation, an alteration in context and substance, in the way I regard myself. That appears to be a bit down the road.
I’m reminded of a friend’s favorite quote: “When they jumped, they flew.” I get the message: I can do this. I know not how, from this vantage point, but I sense, I know, I can.
(1) SaLuSa, Feb. 6, 2015, at http://www.treeofthegoldenlight.com/First_Contact/Channeled_Messages_by_Mike_Quinsey.htm.
(2) “The Divine Mother via Linda Dillon: Reaching New Heights,” May 18, 2015, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2015/05/18/divine-mother-via-linda-dillon-reaching-new-heights/.