We had a meeting of the editors the other day and Archangel Michael addressed us through Linda Dillon. Hopefully I’ll have a transcript of that discussion in a few days.
The important thing was his encouragement to us to find the natural excitement within ourselves, the joy of service, the full-throated, full-hearted “Yes!” to life that’s in all of us.
And I watched myself. And I saw that I could not reach a place that I’d call “whole-hearted.” I could get perhaps 70-80% there and then there was a part of me that was holding back.
What was that part?
Well, I could give you a long list of gurus and masters whom I’ve studied under who plowed into the ground in spectacular fashion. That self-destruction is happening even today. It didn’t stop with the fall of the bhagwans, rinpoches and “avatars” of the Seventies.
Masters striking their students, extorting money from them to remain in their good graces, sexually molesting them or their children, on and on and on the stories went.
And not just stories because in some cases I was a writer for that scene as I am for this and had access to organizational officers who could verify the stories. And they did. They too had been injured.
The floor fell out of my world when the story broke. Every time another guru fell, it got harder and harder to surrender.
Another block showed itself. I think the story of the Emperor having no clothes has worked its way into the mind of perhaps every western child. And my worst dread is to be caught in a situation where I wake up in the middle of the night and say to myself: “The emperor has no clothes.”
Even thinking about that raises the pain in me I felt as each of these high-flying, allegedly-august figures plowed into Gaia.
So I see myself hedging my bets, keeping my eye on my escape route, and avoiding being fooled, conned, or ripped off. Archangel Michael once discussed how many lightworkers live with the fear of being conned.
Archangel Michael: That is a very big core issue for many, looking foolish.
Steve Beckow: Being conned, looking foolish and being rejected
AAM: Being abandoned, being betrayed, being conned, stepping out and believing that they were part of something big only to find out that they are alone, abandoned and isolated, separated from Source. (1)
That leaves me having trouble letting go completely and simply trusting. And AAM knows that. How many times has he said, “Your job is NOT to be a professional worrier, dear heart!” (2) I worry about this. I worry about that. I even look for things to worry about.
But the thing about whole-heartedness and in fact “whole” anything is that not unless and until the will is entirely and completely bent to some divine purpose does the sacred fire of purpose and intentionality ignite. Less than whole-hearted is like having wet powder. It won’t ignite. It won’t even produce a flash in the pan.
The balloon deflates with one small pinprick of a hole. The pressure cooker won’t cook if there’s any leak in the seal. The NASA rocket will explode if one O-ring doesn’t quite fit. (3)
Helen Keller may have been thinking of this when she said: “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” (4)
Having no escape route, giving up the ability to say “I told you so,” and giving my all to something is the only way I know to create fire from sparks.
I do want to give myself to something wholeheartedly and the fulfilment of the Mother’s Divine Plan is that something. And, hey, if it turned out I was talking to Big Bird instead of Archangel Michael? The real Archangel Michael knows I work for him.
I knew when the first avatar took a fall that God knew it was him/her alone I served. So nothing is lost. The guru’s sins don’t rub off on the devotee unless the devotee is complicit. And I left the false avatar as soon as I had satisfied myself that the charges were valid. (Even AAM said they were.) Come to think of it, the same could be said of the second avatar. How the mighty have fallen.
So I promise myself to begin serving whole-heartedly again. Not blinding myself to things, but also not disasterizing before anything has happened.
There are absolutely no gains or rewards that come from being half-hearted or faint of heart.
This decision is consistent with the tendency of the energies. The vibrations are constantly rising and this appears itself to lead to a healing of the old wounds of having been taken for a ride in the past.
If I’m to stand forth, to emerge from all the cynicism and protectionism of the Old Third, I’ll need to take a chance. I’ll need to close the door and give my all to what is absolutely right here in front of me, waiting to be embraced.
(1) Personal reading with Archangel Michael and Steve Beckow, through Linda Dillon, Aug. 1, 2014.
(2) Personal reading with Archangel Michael and Steve Beckow, through Linda Dillon, Nov. 21, 2014.
(3) The profession of Configuration Management, which I worked in from around 1984 to 1995, was started after the wrong O-ring fitted on a NASA spacecraft caused the rocket to blow up. CM kept a record of the baseline for each “build” of a machine or system to see that that never happened again.
(4) Helen Keller, Let us Have Faith. New York: Doubleday, 1946; c1940, 50-1.