In a loveless (1) state, vengeance, triumph, arrogance, selfishness all feel good at some level. All feel pleasurable for a moment but awful afterwards.
But by then we’ve forgotten the original stimulus we’re responding to. There’s space between the two and, in our sluggish, 3D state, we may not see them as related.
We don’t get that A caused B. Rather, life did it to us. It dealt us a miserable hand, etc. We say that life hands us A’s one moment and B’s the next and conclude that life is a mixed bag. This conclusion becomes part of our vasana.
We end up feeling victimized by life. We didn’t cause these results; life did. We see no way out from a loveless state if left to our own inadequate devices and responses. We’re addicted to a world of pain and pain is what the world brings us in generous quantities. Karma. Destiny. Fate.
I’m not saying that this is what AAM was referring to. I’m saying that this is what comes up for me when I allow his words to rest in my consciousness.
The most deadening script, the chief obstacle that I have in this area is the belief that love doesn’t last, that it fades with disagreements.
How many times have I said in my life that things went well for the first six weeks and then that was it? But have I ever noticed that I had a script around it, that I scripted life that way, and followed my script religiously? No.
To see that I do is the realization that will cause the matter to shift. Just being with it, allowing awareness to act as a solvent.
It’s important for me to know, important for me to acknowledge, and important for me to let the pattern go. But I cannot let go of something I don’t know about and don’t even know is there. It isn’t that I don’t know something. It’s that I didn’t know I didn’t know.
Whether or not I’m finished with my vasanas, the Tsunami is finished with them. As it continues to increase in intensity, it’s bringing up all our issues and resolving them. Our kicking and screaming is purely optional, strictly additional addiction to pain.
The Tsunami is bringing in a better world. Archangel Michael described it pretty compellingly here.
S: Where do you want me to go next?
AAM: I want you to come to Heaven. I want you to know what Heaven on Earth feels like. I want you to wake up in the morning and feel that sense of expansiveness in your chest like it is bursting out, that you are so filled with a sense of love and wellbeing and potential that you can hardly control it.
S: I’d love that.
AAM: This is your new addiction.
S: Addicted to love. I got it.
AAM: Yes. (2)
Now that’s a better place. Sounds great to me.
Addicted to pain? Yes, I was. And I can see it now. And so it becomes possible to be addicted to love.
Everything about this domain the Tsunami makes available is new. I’m not sure if I can just relax into it or must work my way through it.
And then I recall AAM’s final advice: Just breathe.
(1) When I say “loveless,” I don’t mean the fondness, affection or similar states we experience in Third Dimensionality, but real, transformative love such as we have at the height of a spiritual experience. That alone for me is love.
(2) Personal Reading with Archangel Michael and Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Aug. 22, 2014.