He said that I was doing “deep housecleaning” that would see me emerge “addicted to love,” as we are in the Fifth Dimension, rather than addicted to pain, as we are in the Third. He said more that was extremely encouraging but that’s all I’m comfortable sharing.
At the same time, event after event happened last week that either showed me that I needed to move in some way or else helped me to move. The meet-up was one. Conversations with friends and colleagues were another. The reading itself was a third. Something that occurred while booking a hotel room for Lake Tahoe was a fourth.
The deep cleansing came last night and into this morning and I stayed awake until I’d completed it.
I couldn’t both be in it and keep a record of it. Mostly I tried to be in it. But what I did do was to jot down the major ideas as they came to me, undoubtedly planted in me, that describe each significant step in the process of cleansing. Here’s the record of those thoughts.
So I’m not sure if this is me talking or someone else. But the ideas did impress me and, as each came, I spent some time feeling it, allowing it to unfold and unpack itself, and then being with what resulted.
I love myself. I take care of myself. I’m responsible for my own well-being.
My life is a workshop. My life is an experiment. My life is a meditation.
My life is a walk of faith. There’s no other way I could do it.
I get to craft my life in any way I want. But I remain responsible for what I do with every minute of every hour of every day.
I almost-completely walk forward in my life and use reverse gear sparingly and in emergencies. I keep my engagements but make them seldom, to avoid stress, and only after having estimated the cost.
Stress is the bane of an awareness writer’s life. In the face of it, I can’t write. Last week AAM said that all of Heaven could hear me complaining. (Just teasing me, he said.)
I can only do what I can do. It doesn’t work for either of us if I assume another’s role, duty or dharma.
No Offstage Moments
I’m making an Akashic movie of myself and the question is: Would I want to see it? The Full Life Review is the theater the movie will play in. Will I want to watch it or run from the theater screaming?
There are no onstage and offstage moments any more; there never were. All life is onstage now and always has been.
The standard of behavior I commit myself to is not only to do the right thing when I’m seen, but to do the right thing even when I think I’m unseen. Because I’m always seen.
And not to make a big deal of it even though it is a big deal.
How I Be
I ask myself: Am I ready to stop depressing myself and start elevating and inspiring myself instead?
I allow both circumspection and naturalness to co-exist.
The extremity of personal and social reaction is what has to be avoided. The Middle Way is preferable.
I leave the vicious circle of inflicting pain on others and inflict love instead. In the circle, pain is always inflicted on a person for the last event. The dispute is never forgiven or forgotten and love tried instead. I forgive myself and others for how we were in the last event. I focus on how we are in the next.
I leave the vicious circle by an act of forgiving and forgetting. I am addicted to love, rather than addicted to pain.
Simplify and Houseclean
Simplify life, as much as possible. Houseclean forever.
Prefer the long- to the short-term gain.
Be natural. Be innocent. There are no taboos but there must be safety for all: The Middle Way again.
We can heal from our vasanas and push through our core issues or we can simply forgive and forget the old Third.
Our minds are constructed to bring back automatically the memories we need to navigate. They’ll function on autopilot. We can forget the old Third without forgetting the lessons we learned.
No excuses will impress the man in the mirror.
There’s no time to double back and erase the mistakes I made. There’s no point in trying to manage my image. The Akasha never lie and cannot be fooled.
I can only be the change I need to be and ask myself, those I may have harmed, and the Karmic Board for forgiveness and grace.
I forgive and forget all injuries. I welcome and embrace all energies. I’m grateful for all acts of kindness.
It’s not that we have to learn love to be in this new way. It’s that we have to reveal love and be it. Love is always already there like gold in the ground. We have to clean off the dirt that covers the inner love-gold, reveal it and be it.
I ask myself: How rich am I in love? Love is the inner gold, the spiritual currency.
Every failure is a failure to love.
The Tsunami, the Reval, and Ascension will end our addiction to pain and begin our addiction to love.