Werner Erhard in the est Training, 1970s
I remember Werner Erhard in the est Training saying to a participant who was mired in perplexity and complaints, “You need a bigger project.”
Say what? You uncompassionate bastard!
But I’m observing myself, being a student of self-awareness, and I know now that what he said then was true. I constantly need bigger projects to stay healthy mentally. They “call me forth.” Otherwise I chafe, bitch, and complain.
Providing it’s the right challenge. Michael has always asked me, and I ask of myself, to stay out of the details. You’re not an administrator, he’d say. Stay with the vision. (1)
And that fits exactly the way I feel without him needing to say it. It’s just that, until the new economy starts moving, all of us have had to be a ten-piece band. As so many of you are also having to be as well.
The result is that, up till now, looking back, I’ve been playing small. I’ve been playing that way because I’ve felt I needed to keep more details about myself confidential than I now feel I need to.
This existed for me as what sociologist Erving Goffman would call a “dark secret.” (2) I think of it as even a deep, dark secret.
Some I need to keep until the Mockingbird press is gone and the alphabet agencies are cleansed or shut down (preferably the latter – assigned to history, along with the Star Chamber and the Inquisition).
But others that I’ve kept to myself, like the situation that Brian Ferris revealed, (3) can now be shared. Knowing this “operational” secret makes many things about me understandable to myself as well as others. (136 books?) I just haven’t been willing to share them. But I feel it’s safe enough now without, as Michael said, painting a target on my back. (4)
I’ll rely on you then seeing through the ridicule and sarcasm that arises, not “buying into it.”
The deep state relies on us wilting under sarcasm, ridicule, meme warfare, censorship, and ostracism. If not, we “suicide” ourselves. (You know, pistol shot to the back of the head? Clinton body count?)
As a person who just put himself together again after fifty years of dissociation, I don’t do all that well under ridicule. Yet.
We in the white-hat press also use sarcasm, ridicule, and sensationalism. We’re not immune. It pains me to be posting news with screaming headlines. We will grow up, journalistically, I’m quite sure. And hopefully still hold together through the experience.
Global society emerging from all of this, I believe, will take the utmost humility. Ego has no place in a world that works for everyone, save to tell us, “Car coming.” The ego in the higher dimensions, Sri Ramakrishna says, becomes a servant instead of a master. (5)
It does because we emerge. We come forth. We arrive.
Footnotes
(1) Archangel Michael: You are the vision holder. You are the bringer of inspiration. You are the one who is the catalyst and the vehicle, but you are not an administrator. (Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, May 27, 2016.) (Hereafter AAM.)
(2) See Erving Goffman, The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 141-2.
(3) “Things We Don’t Share … Which Burden Us,”
(4) Archangel Michael: You are in a position of leadership, of stewardship, and of trusteeship and so you do not want to paint a target on your back.
Now are you mightily protected? Well, my friend, if I cannot protect you, nobody can. … Of course you are safe. What you don’t want is to be bothered.
What you don’t want is to be distracted so, when you write about these things … (and note that I say “when” and not “if”) [I suggest] that you write in generalities. (AAM, Sept. 2, 2016.)
(5) You may reason a thousand times, but you cannot get rid of the ego. The ego is like a pitcher, and Brahman like the ocean — an infinite expanse of water on all sides. The pitcher is set in the ocean. The water is both inside and out; the water is everywhere; yet the pitcher remains. … As long as the ego remains, ‘you’ and ‘I’ remain. … The ego cannot be got rid of; so let the rascal remain as the servant of God, the devotee of God. (Sri Ramakrishna in Swami Nikhilananda, trans., The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna. New York: Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Center, 1978; c1942, 708.)