Another bite-sized piece?
I need to switch to awareness writing, stream of consciousness, flow.
I just saw through a basic barrier to being here now, being present, being in the moment.
I’d just put on my morning pot of coffee and I’d lain down on the couch awaiting it.
Out of nowhere, a stray sexual feeling arose.
I noticed it and assigned it to my peripheral attention when it suddenly morphed, transmuted into love.
And I was amazed. This is what the ancient sages knew, that sex was at its basis love. This is what I knew as well at one time in my life when sex was love. OMG.
This is so liberating, this knowledge. I didn’t even know I had a barrier in this area. This frees up my experience of love. I didn’t even know my experience of love was not freed up.
I’m going around now breathing up love without a barrier I didn’t even know I had.
When sex is revealed at a deeper level as love, I am released from thinking about sex. I’ve got what I want already. Where is the draw any longer? Only to and with a lifelong companion.
This will make my life so much easier, less differentiated (male/female) in my decision-making. It’s like being a judge and waking up to the knowledge that you have a bias. (1) I had sexual urges once but now I recognize them as another form of love and I simply breathe into them and enjoy them as the love they are and breathe that love out to the universe.
Michael once said to me:
Archangel Michael: You have been given bite-sized pieces of energy, of energy bumps, of input, of what you can digest and handle and truly bring to fruition. If you are in the process of expansion, you don’t go from Grade 3 to a PhD in a week.
Is this realization another bite-sized piece from Michael? (2)
Footnotes
(1) As a refugee decision-maker, I once sat on the claim of a Punjabi woman. I was “sitting positive” and had but one objection. So I stopped the hearing and asked for submissions from counsel on the matter. Why has the claimant throughout the hearing not looked at me once while testifying? Was I hearing a fabricated story?
And his mid-hearing submissions to me demonstrated that I was seeing the situation of a vulnerable, elderly Punjabi woman who owns a house and is being extorted for it by corrupt relatives, through the filter of a western bias (if she won’t look at me, she must be lying.) And I saw it too, for the first time. Otherwise I accepted her story. That removed my only objection.
(2) “AAM on Truncated Experiences,” March 21, 2017, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2017/03/21/aam-on-truncated-experiences/.