Nicole Gray, 19 years old when a fentanyl addiction claimed her life, had a Mom who is a mental health clinician therapist.
Several times, throughout the YouTube below, she mentions running from pain.


Here is more from Nicole’s Mom:

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Nicole Gray was a vibrant, creative, and deeply loved 19-year-old who tragically lost her life to fentanyl in April 2024.
The youngest of 4 children and the only daughter, Nicole was adored by her 3 older brothers and shared a special bond with her stepfather after losing her biological father at age 6.
Her childhood was marked by trauma and loss, and as she entered adolescence, she began struggling with anxiety, depression, and substance use, seeking comfort in relationships and self-destructive behaviors.
Despite efforts from her parents to get her help—including therapy, outpatient and residential treatment, and support through sober living—Nicole’s pain and inner emptiness often overwhelmed her.
She had moments of brightness, sobriety, and connection, but continued to battle addiction and shame.
On the anniversary of her father’s death, a relapse led to a heartbreaking spiral, and days later, she passed away after using fentanyl with a former acquaintance.
Her story, told by her grieving parents Jane Gray and Randolph Crews, is a painful reminder of how unresolved trauma, mental health struggles, and addiction can quietly devastate even the brightest lives.
Jane Gray:


If a Loved one is struggling with pain, with addictions, how we can help is to more deeply surrender to our pain.
Whenever any of the old feelings, hurts, resentments come up for us, to surrender to it, let it run through us—our surrender/sacred purpose/work directly goes to our Loved ones and to the Collective.
The Divine Mother and Sanat Kumara entreat us to let the pain run through us, out of us, to surrender to the LOVE within.

With conscious awareness, name the feeling—the fear, the sorrow, the shame, the disappointment, the judgements, the anxiety, the guilt, and say, “I let this run through me” and then do so.
Feel yourself reach new levels where there is no addiction to anything, from caffeine to gambling, from sugar to sex, and everything in between.
Watch the pain dissolve . . . and . . .
feel the wellspring of joy
and awe bubble up!




Footnotes
(1) “Sanat Kumara, Jesus & the Mother: What Is Surrender,” June 28th, 2026, https://voiceoffreedom.ca/sanat-kumara-jesus-the-mother-what-is-surrender/
(2) “The Divine Mother: How to Clear–Surrender and Be the LOVE–Let the Pain Flow Through You Out of You,” August 26th, 2014, https://voiceoffreedom.ca/mother-how-to-clear-surrender-and-be-the-love-let-the-pain-flow-through-you-out-of-you/
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