Metaphorical character armor.

I need to say more about emerging from my character armor and feeling … normal.

I probably have not felt normal since age seven, when my Dad shouted at me from so close to my face that my personality shattered into a million pieces. For the next fifty years or so, I became the Humpty Dumpty Man.

And so, emerging from the character armor that I built up since age seven, the shell that would protect me, the weapons I could use … to emerge from that is monumental for me.

As an aside, don’t overlook the fact that I cannot find in my recollection of the eastern and western texts any mention of the dropping of a person’s complete suit of armor, so to speak. Only single issues.

***

I feel normal again. I don’t have something going on inside me. I’m not rescuing anyone in preference to conducting my mission. I don’t have a grumble going on. No victim story.

I’m just here and I feel normal.

“Normal” for me means no issues are going on with me; I have room for another to show up; life is not all about me.

Normal is neither hot nor cold on the emotional dial. It’s livable as expressed by all concerned. It’s moderate. It’s in the middle, in the center, in the heart.

And everyone in the love that flows there knows where to get love from. No, not from the other. From your very own heart, where it exists as an endless artesian well.

Normal is I can be decent with the people I meet. I have no reason to fear any more. I’m still protecting some things until the cabal is gone. But apart from those, I feel free of my previous emotional chain.

I’m delighted to have returned to normalcy after (79-7=) 72 years away.

I’m back on track with my life after a massive scenic detour.

That’s “normal” for me.

***

But please don’t overlook what I just demonstrated because we’ll discuss it another time: I took the arrival in normalcy as an indicator that where I’d been, time out of mind, was in abnormality. I took it as feedback.

Feedback is another practise I’d like to see re-introduced … from a time before automation, a fluorescence of both eastern and western spirituality, the Growth Movement.

That practise requires compassion so that we don’t use it as a cover for blaming and shaming.

Wow. Right now. One article a day is confining.