This incident happened a few days back. I delayed posting it to remove it from the time of our financial appeal. It’s therefore out of chronological sequence.
As I was doing a search for a bibliographical reference in “Now You Know the Answer,” (1) this phrase appeared on my screen: “The Mind of Absolute Trust.”
I was maximally open to these words given what I’d just written. I discovered that I could find that state of consciousness (“absolute trust”) within myself and allow it to settle over me like a blanket. I could “be” in that space. This is new.
And I instantly saw that that space was natural. It was me without my ego. There was nothing I needed to do to maintain it. Just not abandon it.
This is me. Below all the worries, hopes, and fears. This is the mind of absolute trust.
This is important. So many of us think that the deeper we go, the more garbage we’ll find. The “real” us will be revealed – vicious, devious, selfish, etc.
That isn’t the real us. This “absolute trust” that I just came across is more the real us, what I call the natural Self.
***
I ran for the computer.
How did I get in this place? I just responded to the words appearing on my screen: The Mind of Absolute Trust. Probably the title of a book.
Instantly I found that state of consciousness open up. Uncensored. Unbidden.
I could have made it a momentary contact and then uncoupled and moved on. And I probably have, many times in the past.
But I didn’t this time. I remained with it, silently, still. And then I realized: This is me without embellishment, without image management, minus the self-serving bias.
I felt so confident being absolute trust. I’d been so busy with worries, hopes, and fears that I’d never noticed it already existing within my field of awareness.
Previously, at Xenia, I saw the Self in the bottom of the heart, the seat of the Soul. I had then seen what I was.
In this experience, I’ve experienced who I am. I am absolute trust.
It may be a half hour since the experience began and yet it persists. So many experiences are at best fleeting. I’m just going to go with it and explore….
This is my copy of The Book of Nothing. Quite something, eh?
Later
I also imagine that we keep getting the experience of absolute trust but at deeper and deeper levels of allowance, of relaxing our doubts and fears around it.
OMG. The Mind of Absolute Trust turns out to be another version of the book I know and love as Sosan’s The Book of Nothing.
This space of absolute trust is the space Sosan was talking about when I read it years ago.
I am thunderstruck.
I now have six yardsticks: (A) the seventh-dimensional experience of the Oversoul at the 2011 meditation retreat; (B) the sight of the Self at Xenia; (C and D) the experience at Xenia of my natural Self as innocence and purity; (E) the 2015 heart opening, and (F) the experience of my natural Self as absolute trust today.
I’m getting closer.
Still Later
Looking back on this experience, I consider that absolute trust, if it were an abiding state, would be quite advanced. One can appreciate rationally that if one were near the end of the journey, one would have realized one’s identity with the One and so absolute trust would seem to be a reasonable follow-on.
If the state of absolute trust was itself absolute, I’d think that we’d have removed the last veil of separation between us individuated sparks and the One we always were.
I also imagine that we keep getting the experience of absolute trust but at deeper and deeper levels of allowance, of relaxing our doubts and fears around it.
But all that is guesswork based on a fleeting experience. What remains is the self-confidence born of the knowledge that, if I absolutely trusted that all was working towards a divine conclusion, I’d be on the right track.
Nevertheless I don’t think that that faith excuses me or us from doing all we can to help in the face of the suffering of others.
Footnotes
(1) “Now You Know the Answer – Part 1/3,” Dec. 31, 2024, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2024/12/31/now-you-know-the-answer/ This article itself was posted two days after being written, meaning the absolute-trust experience would have happened around the 29th.