An Obligation of Gratitude

December 28, 2024

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others. ~Cicero

First I greeted the foggy morning with oh, no, a gloomy day. Then I perked up: that means I get to cozy up with the cats and not head out for a walk at the crack o’ dawn.

My duet with the obligation of gratitude is becoming concordant at last. My lukewarm feeling toward establishing a gratitude practice or being grateful (for something) even in unpleasant circumstances, has turned around in the last two months. Not sure why or how, but…I’m grateful for it.

*****

I’m finally able to separate the unpleasant circumstance from the beneficial/desirable results it can engender. The unpleasant thing is unwanted; sometimes it’s a hideous surprise. Impossible for me to clap hands with joy at its arrival.

But I’m discovering that, almost immediately, a small trickle of gratitude can pour over the entire circumstance, like drizzling honey over bitter grapefruit.

*****

Sometimes the unwanted thing – this morning, the dense fog – holds delight behind its shifting veil of gray. I had just started my belated walk when I noticed a longtime neighbor that I hadn’t yet met puttering in his garage. He came out and raised a hand in greeting. 

“I really like the colors you used on your house,” I told him. We introduced ourselves and I further commented on the room they had added in the high attic above the garage. 

“I’ve always wondered how you did that,” I said. “We live in a house with an identical floorplan over there, the gray house,” and I pointed it out.

He said, “Come on in and I’ll show you.”

*****

If I hadn’t turned dismay over the fog into contentment within our cozy house…If I hadn’t left for the walk in a good mood instead of feeling gloom that it was still foggy…I never would’ve met Dave and gotten the grand tour of the over-garage attic renovation. I wouldn’t have seen how easy it was to knock a doorway through the closet in an upstairs bedroom. And I wouldn’t have the mental gears turning of how we could do that with our house.

I realize gratitude is a spiritual habit we “should” practice. But I’ve never had the practical demonstration of how one small moment of deliberate gratitude ripples out into a morning and a day; how putting aside disgruntlement and taking the different path of thankfulness can lead to randomly smiling for the rest of the day.

Maybe I won’t think of gratitude as an obligation anymore, but as a present I can keep opening over and over, never knowing what delightful surprise will be in the box this time.