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Peaceful Doldrums

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March 30, 2024

The best time to write is when your life is in the toilet. Writing offers an escape from your problems, so if you force yourself to write when you’re in the doldrums, it will have the perverse effect of cheering you up…. ~Sabrina Jeffries

Is it all right to be on an even keel, to be in a not-unpleasant bowl of the doldrums?

I’ve been assured by those who know (that is, the ethereal writers for whom I am a conduit) that there is indeed something to write. But my usual topics elude me. I feel no engagement. I’m not full of an emotional charge, either negative or positive.

I think I will pretty up my doldrums by calling this state “peace.”

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A life that lacks drama, angst, despair, or other large-scale emotions feels quite welcome. I had plenty of drama and angst for a couple of months before hip surgery, and this low-key postoperative recovery process is a definite improvement. 

Eliminating the main pain source from my body has left a vacuum. It has also given me options I didn’t have before. Like an immensely hungry dinner guest steered to a heavenly smorgasbord, though, I am overwhelmed by so many possibilities. By what criteria do I choose the best sustenance?

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I’ve often wondered if peaceful post-Ascension equilibrium would rob me of the impetus to write. There’s only so many ways you can describe joy or the tangible intangibility of peace. Quiet contentment doesn’t have a hook.

Perhaps peace, joy, and similar states are meant for experiencing, not describing. Perhaps there is a level at which they’re understood that frees the human mind from the need to explicate, to self or others, what’s going on. 

The world is daily filled with more chaos, and my personal life is bound to have speed bumps ahead. It wouldn’t be 3D without those circumstances.

I like to think that I am engaging with 3D, but not from a wholly 3D status. “The peace that passeth understanding” pops into mind. I don’t understand these peaceful doldrums, but I don’t think I need to understand the exact nature of how I am in the world to enjoy and appreciate a state that feels expansive and calm, hopeful and real.