The toned-down Self I saw was luminous rather than brilliant
While I’m aware of the actor/participant or “witness” in the drama of my life, and while I’ve even seen a moderated or toned-down version of it, (1) I personally wouldn’t say that I’ve realized it.
I’ve called realization seeing from a higher level, (2) which is true, but, at the same time, realization, when one is in 3/4D, is accompanied by energetic events that seem to burn the knowledge into one’s mind. Bliss is a prime example. As a consequence of the uplift of bliss, one feels certain about the matter in question. And that certainty lasts.
In my 1987 vision, I was steeped in bliss, with the result that I never forgot the details of it. (3)
In the sight of the Self at Xenia, I neither felt bliss nor saw the Light in its full brilliance. Consequently the event was not burned into my mind in the same way the heart opening and subsequent tsunami of love were.
I did experience the divine states of innocence and purity and that was illuminating. I’m not complaining. Just reporting.
***
I’d say that my ego is still left automatically in charge of most of my everyday actions and interactions. I watch and listen to myself complain about needing to go to the corner store for something, nattering about this, that, and the other. What’s wrong with this picture?
What’s wrong is the key driver – the actor/participant, witness, or Self – is missing. The Self is not in the driver’s seat. Most of the time, the ego is.
If you were on the path of awareness, you’d be aware of your moment-by-moment responses to life. I’m aware that I’ve taken those everyday responses for granted.
Ordinary behavior usually goes on in what Werner called “the background of obviousness.” I.e., it’s too obvious [that is, unimportant] to notice how or why I do what I do.
But of course it isn’t unimportant. Leaving behavior fully to the ego I now consider unwise.
All I can do is clear the space for the Self to drive the car, as much as I can. And ask that my guides put the Self in the driver’s seat for me. All enlightenment rests with the other side.
Realizing the Self, of course, when it happens, would lend me the strength and wisdom that I presently seek to borrow from Michael. I know! I know! I’m just saying.
Footnotes
(1) See An Ascension Ethnography at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/An-Ascension-Ethnography-9.pdf. Search on “Xenia.” Keep in mind that, for around two months after Xenia, I had been unwilling to share that it had occurred because I watched parts of Frazzeldrip the night before and was dismayed.
(2) “Realization, in my view, is simply seeing from a higher-dimensional place.
“To say ‘I realize’ is no different than saying that I am at the moment existing on a higher level of consciousness than I normally do. …
“What boosts us up there is a breakthrough moment of love, bliss, peace, or one of the other divine states.” (Steve Beckow, “Realization is Simply Seeing from a Higher Level of Consciousness,”
Moreover:
“Truth must become a realized state of consciousness before it can manifest outwardly because consciousness is the creative substance.” (“The Arcturian Group via Marilyn Raffaele, Sept. 18, 2022,” at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2022/09/18/thearcturian-group-via-marilyn-raffaele/.)
(3) On that experience, see “The Purpose of Life is Enlightenment – Ch. 13 – Epilogue” in The Purpose of Life is Enlightenment at http://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Purpose-of-Life-is-Enlightenment.pdf