Since my magical manifesting capabilities seem to be somewhat subpar, I’m increasingly drawn to little projects over which I have some practical control.
The sewing machine sits at the ready. A brief online search unearthed instructions for sewing the perfect drawstring bags for my card decks. On the canvas of the outdoors, terracotta pots are strategically placed, awaiting fresh soil and flowering plants to transform the bland patio with beautiful splashes of color.
Given my fascination with creating tangible things, it’s no wonder I recently stumbled upon the videos of a YouTuber named Bernadette Banner.
Don’t rush out to find her if you’re looking for another truther, a channel, an awakened commentator on our current tumultuous times. Bernadette is a costume designer. An expert on historical dress. I find her to be informative and entertaining, chatty, charming, even endearing. Most of all, she is creative.
I’m enjoying how she chronicles making historical garments from her own patterns, the fabric pieced together on the floor of her Manhattan apartment. I share her delight as she models clothing she creates from silk, wool, velvet, linen. Her video sign-off often includes the cheery farewell, “Now, my friends, go forth and create!”
This young woman’s unabashed enthusiasm for sewing has loosened a stuck place in my psyche. The stuck place that reiterates, why bother? Med beds will be here by year end, why waste resources on “cures”? Let the home gently moulder around us, let the fabric of our wardrobes thin and fade. It’ll all be replaced when we have overflowing Reval resources.
“Why bother” and its hasty dismissiveness rarely work for me. I’ve learned the value of slowing down and asking myself a few questions. They all boil down to, who is dismissing this? Has my intuition/heart made itself known at the same moment of asking, as it is wont to do?
If the answer is an unequivocal yes, it is the heart speaking, then my direction is set. If it’s murky, or I suspect impatience or fear or some element of mind/ego is trying to run the show, then I must get quieter still, and wait till true knowing percolates into awareness.
One thing I will say about Bernadette. She did not let a daunting medical condition dominate her life. I had watched several videos before I realized she’d had scoliosis and was still working her way back to health from longterm orthopedic treatment. It must’ve been grueling, but I haven’t noticed her complaining.
I doubt very much that Bernadette is aware of the plan for wresting back our beleaguered world from the dark controllers, or Ascension, or the grievous wrongs that will be righted on humanity’s journey into the New Earth.
If she did know, would she sit passively at home, content for her frail-looking body to languish? Would she eschew an exercise regimen because “the med beds will take care of it, why bother”?
Would she abandon creative self-employment in favor of a day job? Somehow, I doubt it. I think her creative spark would keep poking her, like an eager child tugging on her hand and saying, come, let’s play! I think she would be compelled to keep researching and creating, becoming a more sophisticated yet still genuine presence on YouTube.
Today would be a good day to choose some fun material from my fabric stash, to measure and cut small rectangles for my drawstring bag project. Not exactly an ornate, “original practice” medieval gown complete with wimple, but who knows? Halloween isn’t far away. I’ll bet I could manage a whimsical witch’s hat.
It’s all in fun, it’s all for play. It’s all a slap of happiness in the face of malevolent forces whose strength is augmented by humanity’s misery.
I can give in to the sly seduction of why bother, or I can make it worth my bother. Every effort toward happiness, every loving movement toward strength, defies those who want me to be weak and unhappy. I’m grateful to Bernadette Banner for reminding me of that truth, even if she is likely unaware of it.