As I was researching, I watched myself give a demonstration of the notion that all our enemies are internal.
I was reading an article on the deep state. I recalled that Hitler held that it was necessary to have two enemies – one internal and one external.
And I asked myself, distractedly, “Hmmm, who are my enemies?”
And immediately I flashed on a friend who acts towards me like a dominating older brother. A friend? But a friend can’t be an enemy.
I did have an older brother but he was anything but dominating. Hence I feel confused when invited to step into a role that’s unfamiliar to me – and unwelcome.
Thus, I found myself in inner conflict. The man was both a friend and … an enemy. I couldn’t hold the two in my mind at the same time without discomfort.
I could see that the difference between going with one or the other was my say-so, my input. If I changed my mind, my perception, the enemy ceased to be an enemy and became again a friend. I was the one making the change.
It seems I make my enemies. I preserve them as enemies. And I transform them into friends again.
I am Creator in my own world.
Here I am creating that world and carrying it around in my head and heart as I walk to the grocery store or ride the bus downtown.
I never question the process. In fact, until this minute, I always felt quite comfortable with it. The shoe never pinched till now.
OK, stop the camera because, as a follower of the awareness path, I need to connect some dots.
What just happened here was that I was moving normally in my life until I asked a question of myself that inadvertently brought an uncomfortable answer.
Having read some disturbing pieces about the deep state as our enemies, I asked myself offhandedly, “who are my enemies?”
The dissonance that I felt from the answer backlit the paradigm I was using. Usually that paradigm would remain invisible and unquestioned; it’d be waved through the gate, so to speak, no questions asked.
That paradigm is: Yes, I have enemies but they are so because of their own words and actions.
My discomfort was calling that paradigm into question by revealing my role in deciding friend or foe.
My friend could not be my friend and my enemy at the same time unless I made him so. That I see him as an enemy is clearly the result of a vasana (or core issue) that’s been triggered over here with me. Whatever the case, I’m brought face-to-face with the fact that I’m doing it.
As we used to say at Cold Mountain, cast a stick among dogs and the one who is hit is the one who will howl.
I’m howling. I was hit by his dominating conduct. Another person might not have any difficulty with it at all. The difference between the two of us is not something to do with the “dominating” friend in question but with me.
Well, I need to look at this one, for sure. And I will.
Something about all this is true because I feel increasing release as I pursue this line of reflection. The truth will set us free and I seem to be telling the truth here somewhere to feel this freed up.