Some things are hard to say, hard to write about.
This one, for instance: I feel myself emerging more and more rapidly from what shows up for me now as the lesser personality: my constructed self, which has become like a shell that confines me. (1)
But it feels like almost as much as I can share to talk about it.
I’m in much the same position as philosopher William James, who complained of his astral body becoming too small before he ascended to the next dimension:
“I feel myself growing out of myself in a certain fashion. My adopted characteristics are becoming too small and cramped to contain my new growth and development, and I will move on most certainly to larger psychological quarters.
“It is not only the physical body we outlive, but the psychological house we have chosen. First after death we add new rooms and suites to accommodate our greater experience, but it is soon obvious that the entire structure has had its day. We must move out of it completely.” (2)
A brilliant summation. That addresses how I feel: The previous construction, self-image, personality can’t be simply patched up any longer; the shoe no longer fits.
I’m exploring the process of emergence from within the experience. (3)
Indicative of this was a “snap” or “ignition” (4) I had last night. I suddenly saw the depth of profundity in Michael’s remarks such as that there are no day-laborers on Earth at the present time:
Archangel Michael: To use your phraseology, there are no day laborers on Earth at this time. None. Now, do you realize what I am saying to you? That the mother who sits by the brazier burner in India or walks the Kalahari in Africa or dances in the street in Rio all have chosen to congregate on this magnificent planet, Gaia, at this time? …
So, yes. You have gathered from far and wide, seraphs, archangels, those from the Outer Forces, the Inner Forces. It is a gathering the magnitude of which you are just glimpsing. (5)
Wow, angels, archangels, seraphim, elohim.
I got at an experiential level what it meant that we were all angelics. But I couldn’t find a word for what I saw. And then guidance supplied me with the word: “Magnificence.”
Yes, we are magnificent. If we’re all angels, and our angelic powers and expression await our realizing it, then I now realize it.
I usually automatically check to see whether I resonate with something I’m given in guidance.
When I said the word “magnificence” to myself, I breathed deeply into it. Is there any guilt, shame, or fear apparent when I breathe into it? No, there is not. I feel pure. I hear myself say: “Houston, we’re onto something here.”
All of this is by an inner knowing. The Divine Mother described the process here:
Steve: Am I correct in continuing to say to myself, “The source is not what they say they are but it doesn’t matter. I’m still serving Archangel Michael.”
Divine Mother: You have reached this place of clarity. Now, dearest heart, this is exactly what I am talking about in terms of your divine knowing. And nothing is swaying you from that balanced center of knowing. (6) [My emphasis.]
It’s that same balanced inner center of knowing that I feel now. Moving from a divided mind to a decided mind. A sense of certainty. And no resistance from the heart. I get our magnificence as a legion of angels.
I’m also reminded of a conversation with Michael, which has new meaning for me now:
Steve: For the rest I’m just trusting. I’m just leaving it up to you and that’s what I should do, right?
AAM: That is all you can do. And it is so. And I truly mean that you have reached a point in your heart, in your being, in your life, in your consciousness where you are realizing … the magnitude of our partnership. (7) [My emphasis.]
I am. I’m realizing its magnitude and promise and responsibilities.
The old Steve who could not accept our magnificence was a house built of fears. Fear that I’d be abandoned, lost, and forgotten. Fear that I won’t survive. Fear that I’d show, inadvertently perhaps, how really shallow and self-serving I am.
Rather than have that happen, I’ll play small and ruffle no feathers.
This transformation is not happening in a flash. This part of Ascension is not sudden.
It’s gradual. I’ve switched my vote from negative to positive, from strategizing to loving, and from guardedness to trust. The job is by no means complete, but I’ve taken irreversible steps.
I already know that the Mother didn’t want perfect beings doing our lightworker jobs and I don’t feel perfect. (8) But we have excellent guidance, if we listen to it. And some assurance that we’ll be given the amount of Light we need to do our work when the time comes. (9)
We have to die before we die: Our constructed self has to be let go of, if even for an instant, before we ascend.
Even though I’m going great guns, in the knowledge that the truth will set me free, it’s taking me time to withdraw completely from my unworkable repertoire and begin doing only the workable. However I do notice that the withdrawal process accelerates.
I now take up that work again and push my edge further in this whole area, buoyed up by knowing in my heart that we are magnificent.
(1) See On the Constructed Self at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/On-the-Constructed-Self-2.pdf and Vasanas: Preparing For Ascension by Clearing Old Issues at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Vasanas-Preparing-for-Ascension-R2.pdf
(2) William James through Jane Roberts, medium, The Afterdeath Journal of an American Philosopher: The World View of William James. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall, 1978, 159.
(3) Sociologists would recognize this as verstehen, phenomenology, seeing with the insider perspective.
(4) For example:
Archangel Michael: Think of how every time you especially enter the transformative love, that is a snap. It is not the full dramatic snap but it is a snap. Each time you are progressing up what you can think of as a level.
Think of [entering] your love as flying back and forth through the portal. Now sometimes you’re aware and sometimes you’re asleep. (“Archangel Michael on Snaps, Expansion, and Ascension,” June 6, 2017, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2017/06/06/archangel-michael-on-snaps-expansion-and-ascension/.)
(5) Archangel Michael: You’re Now Ready to Know Who is Here,” April 10, 2013, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2013/04/archangel-michael-youre-now-ready-to-know-who-is-here/.
See also An Explosion in the Meaning of Humanness at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/An-Explosion-in-the-Meaning-of-Humanness-10.pdf
(6) Divine Mother in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Oct. 26, 2018.
(7) Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Aug. 17, 2018.
(8) Archangel Michael: If the Mother designed or desired for what you think of as perfect beings to be in the forefront of this unfoldment, then she would have done so. Part of what you are doing is showing the willingness, demonstrating the commitment to step forward in what you perceive of as imperfection or even incompleteness and to do so on behalf of the Mother. (Ibid., Dec. 11, 2013.)
(9) Steve: But we will have enough to do the job, enough smarts, enough heart…
AAM: Think of it as growing every day. Then you are given more responsibility, more allowance, and more cooperation. You begin to fully see us and engage with us. Many of the Masters return. So that you’re given all that you need to expand like a flower blossoming. (Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, March 10, 2017.)