September 13, 2022
In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets.
~ Matthew 7:12, New Revised Standard Version, Bible
I thought, what a perfect opportunity to segue into a heads-up about that, so she can be prepared to hear the worst. But then I deleted that video message. Instead, I created an upbeat little video. I praised my friend’s lightness of being and the love and compassion she brings to everything, especially her extraordinarily stressful healthcare job.
I knew as soon as I made the heads-up video that it was a horrible idea and would not contribute to lifting her spirits. Delete!
So I sent that uplifting video instead, and my heart was happy. Then followed up with several funny, goofy Star Trek memes.
I didn’t consciously employ the Golden Rule but it was clearly in operation, there. If I were having a wrenching, tearful morning yet still had to go to work, would I really want to hear about satanic ritual abuse?
*****
A half-second pause before we open our mouths, to mentally switch positions with our unsuspecting audience, could mean the difference between traumatizing them and acting with kindness and love.
Awareness of what we say, how we say it, and the emotional intention with which we deliver it, are paramount now more than ever. I believe we usually have a gut sense of whether it’s appropriate, or not, to divulge something truly unpalatable. Although I wanted to “helpfully share“ my alarming information with my friend, I immediately knew it was wrong, wrong, wrong.
The Golden Rule rescued me from perpetrating a great unkindness upon a dear friend. Not surprisingly, she has since texted back that she feels better and appreciates my encouraging messages.
Better that than the likely response to hearing about SRA, probably for the first time. Such revelations could have permanently damaged our decades-long friendship, and I am supremely glad I did not take that risk.
