This is taking some of the pressure off me to just write ethnographically for a while, as an aware and awakening person going through Ascension.
I’m actually working on two books at once in the background and I can manage that. But I can’t manage it plus writing an article a day plus the onset of fear.
The latter brings the machinery to a halt and needs to be attended to. An awareness writer has nothing to fear but fear itself.
Fear shifts me into a defensive posture and I was just enjoying the experience of the divine state of peace. I’m not ready to venture back into what fear does to me. But I can’t ignore it.
I can “hear” it in my writing.
As I said yesterday, I think we’re being prepared for what comes next. Because what will eventually have to come out will excite our most basic, basic fears. Now I’m weeping remembering what I saw and heard.
This after eight years of listening to victims of persecution describe rape and genocide.
I’m in the divine state of weeping. What relief it is.
What comes up for me is: I never thought humanity could descend to the levels it apparently has from all that I’ve seen – IRB and now. (1) What is it we fear most having done to us? Chances are some element of the New World Order is doing it to someone else as we speak. I cannot bring myself to even mention a word of it.
I sat here saying, well, I’ll just mention one word that will chill people to the bone. And I can’t even get out one word.
OK, crews off battle stations. All ahead half speed. I need to process whatever is fatiguing me and creating fear. I need to tend to myself.
Footnotes
(1) I was a refugee adjudicator with the Immigration and Refugee Board. I held hearings for refugee claimants to establish the truth of their claims. Rwanda … and I can’t write any more. I sit here waiting for the words to come, in the divine state of weeping, but they just won’t come.