A Very Special Intention

October 30, 2021

Starting now she’ll reason with herself

deliberately…

It was possession, turns out, by a force whose intention

touched the first body alone, a body changed

again precisely to its own form,

a very special intention.

~Jana Prikryl, To Tell of Bodies Changed

Playing with the cat, dangling a knotted string and standing with feet planted firmly, I felt a sharp twinge in my upper right leg.

My first thought was, something’s wrong. It hurts.

Next thought, it’s okay, we are working out the kinks and getting stronger.

And then I arrived at the final thought in this little swarm: I want to partner with my body, not fight it.

These thoughts occurred almost simultaneously, like a multilayer cake that you slice your fork through and you get a bite of all three delicious layers at once.

I stood there with the string still dangling from my hand and the cat batting at it and my mouth fallen open a bit. Oh…so that’s the problem.

I’ve been fighting my body most of the time, demanding that it feel better and stop hurting and function “properly.“

And all this time it has been patiently waiting for me to listen to it speak.

*****

It’s not a new notion that my conscious self is constantly being given valuable information through body sensations and via what medical people term conditions or “illnesses.” It’s a psychological and spiritual precept which wise people have been aware of probably since the beginnings of humanity.

I’ve discovered that my body is delighted to finally have an audience from the consciousness it’s been patiently hauling around all these decades.

At last! She’s listening. She’s paying attention.

Dr. Peebles would sometimes make comments prefaced by, “Your body is saying…“ I confess I would be a smidge resentful. Why is my body talking to him? Why does he know how to hear it and I, who inhabit it, don’t?

I chalked it up to him being a channel himself, who I was hearing through another channel, and it was all beyond my capability. (1)

One day I was surprised to hear (from that inner space of no sound) what I recognized as the voice of my body. And now I find if I ask, my body usually speaks quite clearly.

*****

There is nothing wrong or ill about me. Body and I, we have work to do together. And now that I am ready to approach this work as a partner rather than a dictator, demanding my body do as I say, I feel that through relaxation and acceptance, miracles can occur.

I’ve been aware for decades that dis-ease doesn’t appear for no reason. And that it was my sacred obligation to discern the message being relayed through the obliging telegraph of my cells.

I’m wondering if this message is simply, be a partner and deal cooperatively with the varying parts of myself. The energetic, auric, and etheric fields. The physical vessel. Not to mention the mind that seems to prevent me from ever settling to meditation.

I now feel willing to consider information from all the viewpoints of my selves, even those I’d rather dismiss.

*****

This analogy might be a stretch, but I wonder if comprehending the need for cooperation in my own beingnesss—body, soul, consciousness, ego, mind all heeding each other and none trying to hold perpetual dominance—parallels how the world is needing to reorganize itself.

Partnerships, not dictatorships. Listening and communicating, not demanding that a certain way is the only way and regardless of conscience or preference, all must be obedient to it.

*****

I walk through my morning conscious of wanting to move fast and the brakes put on movement by pain.