Always and Forever, It Ends With the Light

July 1, 2021

There seems to be acceptance by many within the spiritual community that while we are awesome lightworkers now, it hasn’t always been so.

I’ve usually gone along with this precept. I have lived many lifetimes, even though I don’t remember them. I have been every possible permutation of personality and body, and done every possible combination of good, bad, and in between during those lifetimes.

This is what many esoteric texts and highly evolved historical and present day masters and teachers tell us. What’s not to believe?

Surely it would be immature, childish even, to think that I might somehow have escaped from contributing my portion of “bad behavior“ to the mysterious balancing scales of karma, separation, duality, and so forth, that have been in place for millennia.

Why would I be special? Different? “Better“? How could I possibly have always been a “good person“? They say it just doesn’t happen that way. Some universal law or other dictates otherwise.

And, since I can’t remember one way or another, surely I must believe what they say.

And yet…We are also exhorted by those same masters and teachers to use our discernment. And go into our hearts. Know our own truth and be the sovereign beings we are.

What if my sovereign self says it doesn’t want any part of being “bad” now, or having been “bad” in a previous lifetime? What if I just don’t believe I did heinous acts as a pillaging Viking or aided and abetted torture during an inquisition?

What if I don’t believe it?

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If we asked most acquaintances if they believe they must’ve committed atrocities in previous lives, we’d no doubt be met with some version of, Heck, no. What are you talking about?

People’s innate sense of their own decency makes them recoil from the very idea. Perhaps I am experiencing that right now in my own sense of self. There’s no way I could ever have tortured an animal, or a human being, or done any of the horrific things that we are told are being perpetrated by the darkly inclined populace in the present day.

I’m thinking about this today because yesterday I had an enlightening conversation with a colleague who is extremely awake and alert to what’s going on. When I said something like, well, they say we’ve all been “bad“ or “dark“ in previous lifetimes, and aren’t we lucky that we chose this lifetime to be “light,“ she said, after a pause, Well, maybe.

My recollection is that she added, I suppose it’s possible. But I just don’t know.

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Of course. How do I know? One way or another? I am not presently gifted with complete, unassailable awareness and memory of much of anything. 

I am always a bit taken aback when someone who considers themselves psychic tosses off, Oh yes, I remember, I did horrible things during the Great War. But I have gotten rid of all of my “acting badly“ karma. I’m completely on board in the Light, now.

Upon inquiry, the person will usually respond, Oh, I just know. I can’t explain how.

Since that’s how I live much of my life—I just know, I don’t know how I know—I can hardly fault this explanation. 

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I resonated deeply with everything Suzi Maresca said in her recent article. How much of our perpetual bad behavior is the result of tampering over the millennia by non-benevolent, possibly nonhuman, forces? How many of our undesirable characteristics, shall we call them, have been welded onto us through some infernal alchemy, and inextricably intertwined in our DNA so that we cannot escape the actions which our higher selves, our souls, recoil from in horror?

My very human voice exclaims, “How unfair! In that case, it’s not even my fault if I behave badly…”

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The other vastly bewildering concept that’s impossible to get my head around is the apparent truth that everything is happening simultaneously. There is no time, and therefore everything I have done, and will do, and am doing now, and whatever I have been, and will be, and am right now, exist simultaneously.

Perhaps, if that’s the case, my “goodness“ can cancel out any “badness“ that I have ever been, or am, or might be. 

I’ve been told that actions I take now, leaps of spiritual growth I accomplish in this lifetime, affect all of my other lives and selves throughout eternity, both forward and backward in time.

When something shifts positively in this lifetime, it shifts across all lifetimes and timelines for me. So can the light that I believe I embody now, somehow cancel out less enlightened aspects of my previous / parallel / future selves?

Perhaps, through the power of focusing on the light I am now, I can make this so.

Wouldn’t that be just ducky? That is a possible reality that I can get my head around. 

And it is something I can do my utmost to bring about, simply by focusing on kindness, benevolence, thinking of others while considering myself as well…really, just behaving as and embodying the absolutely best human being I can be, right here and right now.

Dark, light, dark, light. Always and forever, it ends with the Light.