One of the traps that I fell into in my earlier life (say, before last year) was trying to master all the right moves and having all the right words to say, without really coming from my heart.
I might tell people I loved them without really feeling it.
I might pretend that I was listening to them, without really doing so.
I might talk people up in a coffee shop, without really caring about them. Rather, I was trying to get something from them.
I wanted to be accepted and valued, but not enough to really come from the heart. I was going through the motions.
Werner Erhard called the way I was being my “winning number.”
We do what we think will win us whatever it is we want – approval, acceptance, money, sex, etc.
As long as my heart remained closed – and it remained so until I was 68 – I went through the motions and watched one relationship after another fall apart. I’d been so badly mauled in my early life that I didn’t know what love was and I didn’t know I didn’t know.
The women I dated would love me and love me and love me and then go dry. It was now my turn to carry the ball and I couldn’t do it. And so the relationship fell apart.
My relationships lasted as long as the woman was the one bringing love to it.
It wasn’t until my heart blossomed in 2015 that I suddenly realized what love was. Oh, my heavens, THIS is what I’ve been missing! THIS is what the sages were talking about!
Now I feel almost unclean if I practice my winning number on someone. It’s like eating stale bread.
I think it’s very hard for us to get that no matter how slick our winning number is, no matter how clever we are or how good we look, if what we do and say doesn’t come from the heart, the built-in bØllsh$t meter that we all have goes off in people.
Only their desire to be polite prevents them from saying, “I don’t get your sincerity.”
They tolerate us. They wax philosophical. They drift away.
The rising vibrations will fix the situation. But, oh, what would we do if that were not the case? If the vibrations were not rising? If Ascension were not coming?
We’d remain in a situation where, instead of love being exchanged, we’d all be eating stale food, going through the motions, never really experiencing the full promise of a relationship.
I say it’s time to drop our winning numbers and really raise the love that flows in our hearts like an inner tsunami and send THAT out to the world.
It’s time for us to become “love pumps” and contribute that most precious of treasures to the world’s reservoirs.
Only a love economy, at all levels (personal, social, and spiritual), results in a true, substantial, and fulfilling exchange. And only such an exchange inspires, empowers, and satisfies.