One day it’s fear – from the past. Another day, it’s worry – about the future.
And every day, I say to myself, there must be a better way out of this than processing every worry and fear.
It certainly seems as if we may as well drain the ocean to get a fish as hope to reach completion by processing each instance of worry and fear. They seem never-ending.
And then I hear: Don’t drop each worry and fear; drop worry and fear themselves.
When worry or fear comes up, stand aside from it and don’t let yourself go there.
That sets me thinking.
In the past, I’ve been given peak experiences of a state of being without the two of them.
On one occasion, that peak experience was of deep peace. On another, transformative love. On another, an experience of the unreality of shame. Etc. All of them share the same quality of being free of worry and fear.
I noticed that peace deepened to the extent that I let go of the two of them. And I noticed that the torrent of higher-dimensional love swept all worry and fear before it replacing them with an umbrageous and outflowing (hence “universal”) love.
Surely that goes to the heart of the matter. It’s the attitudes that need to go, without us processing all instances of them.
Archangel Michael has told me, over and over again, not to worry. What more reassurance could I need? And still I worry. Or I stop for a while and it returns, so strong are my vasanas (or core issues).
En-light-ening ourselves means lightening our load of states of being like worry and fear that no longer serve us and weigh us down. The reasons for them may not even exist outside our minds any longer.
We may be carrying around a load of shame, worry, and fear … when everything to do with them – what Michael calls “the old Third” – may indeed be gone, as the Company of Heaven tells us it is.
Remember when I processed shame – an emotion I feared to experience – and found it to be like a chocolate Easter bunny: A thin shell and then nothing? There was nothing below my shame but thin air. If I had shame-based memories, they had no energy to them.
My working hypothesis here is that the worry and fear that I’ve been running for so many years will turn out to be the same.
What vasanas lie below worry? I see them. A guy who decided he never needed anyone, who now doesn’t know how to ask for anything and feels supremely uncomfortable when he does.
A guy whose Dad would give him money and then make outrageous demands of him, that made the thought of asking him for money again repugnant.
A guy who resolved to be a solitary and now lives it, with all its downsides. I see the vasanas.
All of these only mean something because I say they do. If I remove my vote from the feeling states they give rise to – and stand aside from them – the states cease to have power over me.
***
Here’s another example. I noticed a persistent background feeling the other day and identified it as “unworthiness.” I asked Michael and invoked the Law of Elimination to take the feeling away from me once and for all. And it went away.
I then had this conversation with him at my reading, which happened to be the next day:
Steve Beckow: Did you take the vasana of unworthiness away from me yesterday?
Archangel Michael: Yes, it serves no purpose.
Steve: Wow, I could get [back] to seven years old [processing a vasana of hatred the other day] and not see that? I find that remarkable!
AAM: We find it remarkable that you have carried this burden for so long. It is a time for freedom. (1)
Here Michael acknowledges that he took not simply a single unpleasant memory or even a habit of behavior away, but a whole feeling state or attitude (unworthiness).
Back in 2014, he’d suggested that beyond letting go of whole feeling states, there lay more. We could then let go of the one that lies at the core of them all – the head vampire – that same unworthiness.
AAM: In the letting go [of unworthiness], in the surrender, in the embrace of total worthiness, of total worth, you begin to let go of all core issues, because that is the core. (2)
For me, it’s as if he’s pointing to the top of Mount Everest.
I never considered the possibility that we might be capable of cleaning up all our vasanas before Ascension, but there you heard him say it. Being clear of all issues would be, for me, Sahaja or Ascension.
***
Surely we’ve seen enough by now to convince us that we live in a benevolent universe, excerpt where we make it hostile.
The universe by nature isn’t red in tooth and claw, as we were led to believe. If there’s violence around us, it’s of our own making, ours as individuals up to ours as a species. (3) As within, so without. As without, so within. Nature would not be harsh if we were gentle.
If we want to pull ourselves out of our downward spiral, we won’t be able to do it addressing one action at a time. We have to drop the attitudes themselves.
That’s my work for the next page of this Ascension ethnography. To stand aside from worry and fear the same way we’d dodge a bullet. No, not even dodge it. Remain perfectly still and balanced in the face of it. And test its chocolate-bunny reality.
Footnotes
(1) Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Feb. 20, 2018.
(2) Ibid., March 5, 2014.
(3) I’m led to believe that animals were never meant to eat other animals. Now any nature documentary is simply a record of who’s eating whom. (Or mating with or fleeing.) After Ascension animals will again not eat animals.