There are certain words in the English language that activate me, especially the word ‘victim’. It seems so tragic, sad, and disempowering.
Yet as a strong, independent woman, never in my wildest dreams would I consider the possibility that I was running the program of victim mentality. In fact, I have known my entire life that I was a powerful manifester, with a good heart in my chest and head on my shoulders, who trusted I could survive just about anything.
In recent years I began to notice a strong theme weaved into my life story. That theme was drama, drama, and more drama. Why was everything so dramatic, from my experiences to my emotions and reactions?
That was my life; never a dull moment, and in some ways I suppose I liked it like that. Oh, those adrenaline rushes, those highs and those lows. My life was a rollercoaster and it made me feel alive.
And I began to notice, in the absence of drama, that I felt increasing boredom and anxiety. Suddenly, it had become a love-hate relationship for me.
Thanks to friends in high places, I was given a book called The Power of TED, The Empowerment Dynamic by David Emerald, which explores Karpman’s dreaded drama triangle (DDT) of human social interaction, featuring the victim, the persecutor, and the rescuer.
I have to admit, that book initially took me to my knees, and ultimately it set me free. The story is written as a parable. Not only does it illuminate how the DDT plays out in real-life, it thankfully offers a clear path to detach from it and reclaim the role of creator consciousness.
The more I began to connect the dots in my own life, the more I realized that this was a human epidemic. Society, the education systems, families, and religions have been programming this victim mentality for millennia. And when combined with breakthroughs in neuroscience and human consciousness, it appears we all have brain patterns chock full of victim habits.
The good news is brain plasticity, which allows us to change not only these disempowering beliefs, but in doing so, to create deep transformative change.
The dreaded drama triangle consists of these three: victim, persecutor, and rescuer. And, although we may cycle through them, we all have our default place.
As for me, I am officially a recovering rescuer. Apparently I was working the false believe that everything was my fault and I had to fix it. And lucky me, rescuers tend to attract victims.
What was most surprising to learn was that the big three are not necessarily people. They can be people, places, or things.
For example, a persecutor can be a flat tire, a crashed hard drive, or a problem we focus on. When these things happen, we can feel deflated and unconsciously believe our lives never work out; “I’m such a victim.”
The rescuer, by the same token, can be whatever resource one uses to not feel like a victim, such as addictions. Sadly, this does the opposite of rescuing, it actually reinforces the victim story.
Now let’s look at the opposite of the DDT and change victim to creator, persecutor to challenger, and rescuer to coach.
Victim mentality is anxiety-based and problem-focused, while creator consciousness is passion-based and outcome-focused. Can you feel the difference? It’s a whole new way of being, and shifts your relationship to everything.
As creator you are responsive versus reactive, and solution-oriented instead of deflated. You can step out of the drama triangle and change your own brain habits.
Here are some examples of the three archetypes:
Victim:
Poor Me
Why Me
Doormat
Chameleon
Scarcity
Hider
Persecutor:
Judge
Unpredictable
Martyr
Manipulator
Controller
Wolf
Rescuer:
Pleaser
Protector
Counselor
Crusader
Fixer
Over Extender
The truth is we are all whole, resourceful, and capable. It’s the false beliefs we’ve been taught, and habitual ways of thinking, that tell us all the ways in which we are not worthy of greatness and deserve to be victims. Ultimately, each of us is solely responsible for our own self, which for me is the best way to step out of the DDT.
I invite you to look at the ways in which all of these things are at play in your life, and remember you are a powerful creator and everything is a choice.
You can choose to rearrange the deck chairs on a sinking ship or you can focus on how to make it to safe land. Life is what you make of it, and nothing outside of you is going to save you.
You are the hero of your own life story. You are amazing beyond belief, and so very worthy. The why’s no longer matter. Creators focus on ‘what now’ and ‘what next’. A good next choice may be reading David’s book. After all, you can create the life you’ve always dreamed, by heart.
https://www.heartmindlife.com/
“From Victim to Creator Consciousness,” by Genele Boyce, February 16, 2015, at https://www.heartmindlife.com/blog/2015/2/16/from-victimhood-to-creator-consciousness
Source Link: Heartmind Life