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/ Home / News / Failure, Success, and Appropriate Ways of Being
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Failure, Success, and Appropriate Ways of Being

June 24, 2011 by Steve Beckow

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Whether a prediction fails or an event occurs, it has an impact on us. The fact that predictions are being made reflects the fact that events themselves are picking up in speed and interest and that more and more people are becoming enrolled in wanting the promised outcomes. So it’s probably time to discuss the impact of both failed predictions and successful outcomes and the need to find a way of being appropriate to the next stage in our service as lightworkers.

Failed Predictions

Failed predictions cause a snapback effect.  Some have compared it to a boomerang that comes around again or a slingshot that’s been drawn back and then goes as far in the other direction.

We have risen to a height of expectation and then fall to an equal depth of despair. This unfortunate consequence has a number of undesirable effects. In the first place, it causes lightworkers to fall away as a response to disappointment. Something has not succeeded and the natural response is to find someone responsible for the debacle. Or the lightworker may have determined that the feeling of disappointment is an unwanted condition, something to be avoided, and the way to avoid it is to leave the common effort so it “cannot” happen again.

Whatever the reaction, the snapback effect impedes the work. The desirable momentum that was established is now stopped in its tracks and people find themselves less open to allowing it to build up again. People leaving requires a reorganization of the effort. The people who stay feel as traumatized as the people who leave and may now respond with inhibition and caution. They also now must add to their work a possible need to represent the common effort in the face of the criticism that departed comrades may be putting out.

In a very few cases, the departure of the less committed forwards the action, but mostly it doesn’t.

Those who remain who did not invest the same anticipation in the date may find themselves impacted nonetheless and also find it difficult to begin again and pick up where things left off before the predicted dates were floated. But even if the given dates failed, the predicted event still looms and the pieces must be picked up and the effort started once again.

Successful Outcomes

Even when events succeed, the introduction of the new may not be flawless and the detachment from the old frictionless. Change, whenever it occurs, is accompanied by some stress. It will be as difficult for some to make the leap to accepting the arrival of our space brothers and sisters as it was for others to accept their non-arrival. In every group there will be some who find stress in whatever occurs or doesn’t occur. They’ll simply be at different ends of the spectrum.

When Disclosure does occur, instead of the traumatization of those who reject the experience of disappointment, we’ll need to consider the fear of those who feel an overwhelming dread of invasion, enslavement, and destruction. The cabal will have left its inheritance of alien-invasion movies and TV series. The religious right will have left their inheritance of fear of the anti-Christ and Satan’s army of fallen angels. More fear and distress may accompany Disclosure than accompanied the failure of Disclosure to occur on a predicted date.

So Lightworkers will have their work cut out for them no matter what occurs or does not occur in the near future.

Appropriate Ways of Being

What does that mean for us?  How is it necessary for us to conduct ourselves from here on in? I feel a mite sensitive using a word like “necessary” because it isn’t my place to say what’s “necessary.” So you’ll have to excuse me for taking up such a theme, but in a deeply “necessary” sense, it must be taken up, even if I’m mistaken in what I say. If I’m mistaken, then hopefully others will join the discussion and wisdom will emerge from the totality of what is said.

To my mind, everything we need to know about how we’re to conduct ourselves as lightworkers is contained in the word “adult.” Those of you who’ve parented know what it’s like to realize that the child you’re parenting cannot be considered the one, at least in the beginning, who knows what must be done. The adult must be the one.

I say the “adult” rather than the “parent” because I’m drawing on the wonderful teachings of Eric Berne in Transactional Analysis. (1) He distinguished three ego states – parent, adult, and child – and when I say “adult,” I’m referring to what he called an ego state. Perhaps I should say an “I” state or an I-state, because I mean the state that I am in rather than that the ego is in.

The state that I assume in relation to the events that are to occur now “needs” to be an adult I-state rather than a parent or a child I-state. Let’s look at the patterns associated with the three.

The parent I-state is intrusive, controlling, blaming, insensitive. It is the very state, I think, that’s to be left behind as we enter the new world of the Fifth Dimension.  Intruding on another’s sovereignty will no longer work in the higher vibrations. Trying to control another is a way of being that will only bring grief from here on in. The act of blaming and shaming, which only resulted in disempowerment and resentment, is probably what’s caused the simmering discontent that has resulted in criminality and warfare for centuries.  And our insensitivity to one another has simply led to many solitudes of separation and all their accompanying alienation, loneliness, and despair.

The child I-state, and I don’t mean here the child’s actual state of helplessness and dependence, but the I-state of the grown-up who remains a child in attitude, is dependent, submissive, ashamed, and sensitive.  People who affect a child I-state present themselves as  incapable, powerless, and command-driven. Rather than being responsible for their own wellbeing and that of others, they look to others to lead and set policy and direction. They are blame magnets. To them blame is kryptonite which undoes their limbs and makes them sink into ineffectiveness and despondency. In that state of mind, they yield to others the direction of their lives and the fulfilment of their wellbeing. And they respond to every stimulus in a dramatic and exaggerated way, where the parent often may not respond to outside stimuli at all.

Both parent and child are on the extremes of thought, word and action. Both create drama, which then must be handled by those who remain outside it if the action is to be forwarded. Both create the problem rather than the solution. Both undo and defeat any constructive direction or action undertaken or underway.

The adult I-state remains in the middle of thought, word and action. Adults will not permit their emotional or interpretive sides to have the final say  or themselves to be drawn to either extreme. They consult their Inner Voice and allow it the final say.  They unhook or detach themselves from many otherwise socially-accepted but unsatisfying goals. Usually this is done by an acceptance and a taking up of spiritual goals, rather than many of the material goals that those in the parent and child I-state are attached to. The former elevate us; the latter often, though not always, drag us down.

SaLuSa and Matthew denote these when they speak of things native to the “lower” and the “higher vibration.” SaLuSa in his message of today [June 24, 2011] advised us to send light to the lower vibrations and to allow ourselves to be uplifted by the higher. This expansion in our ability to reside in the higher vibrations is what enables us to ascend. Matthew some time ago counselled us to leave behind the tug of pleasures and pursuits that resonated with a low vibration. Here is Matthew from a later discussion of the matter:

“Being kind, caring, honorable, trustworthy, truthful, helpful, joyful, generous, hopeful, compassionate, cheerful, optimistic, pleasant and having an open mind — the positive emotions and characteristics that make life meaningful and fulfilling — carry the high vibrations of light. At soul level you know this — think about your expressions ‘feeling lighthearted,’ ‘the light of my life’ and ‘seeing the light’ that connote uplifted feelings or an Aha! moment.

“Conversely, greed, ruthlessness, oppression, corruption, brutality, deception, betrayal of trust, unjustness, lack of forgiveness and lust for power emanate very low vibrations. Negative emotions that emit low vibrations include fear, guilt, remorse, self-doubt, jealousy, envy, bitterness and resentment, all of which create discomfort, discord and dissatisfaction.” (2)

The adult I-state values the first or higher-vibrational set of attitudes; the parent and child I-states the second or lower.

In a sense the parent and the child I-states work in opposite ends of the lower-vibrational state. The parent controls; the child allows itself to be controlled. The parent blames; the child accepts the blame. And so on. But the adult remains aloof from control and acceptance of control, blame and acceptance of blame.

We too now must seek comfort and strength from what resides at the center of existence, and give up the thrill and stimulation of what exists at the extreme, the roller-coaster ride of emotional ups and downs and experiential highs and lows. For every journey up into anticipation and expectation, there is a descent down into disappointment, either because something didn’t happen or because it did and was inevitably unsatisfying. It’s time for us to show that we know that an endless round of satisfaction of material wants and desires is not going to do it for us anymore and to focus in on the really important matters of life that now will lead to the culmination of Ascension of this planet and its inhabitants.

We must now seek the comfort and the strength of the center and act from it.  The three I-states detach from and attach to  different things. The parent and the child I-states detach themselves from the center and attach themselves to the wild mood swings of the extremes. The adult I-state detaches itself from the extremes and abides in the center, eschewing wild mood swings (as hard as it may be in the face of the wonderful events promised for our future).

The adult I-state leaves aside many of the goals that were so cherished by past generations – goals of abundance purchased at the impoverishment of others, of a peace won by the subjugation of others, of comfort won by the enforced discomfort of others, etc. The adult I-state embraces the sharing of abundance, peace, and comfort. If there’s little, all share in that little; if there’s much, all share in that much.

There’s more to be said, but I think enough has been said for one go. It’s enough to broach that the time’s arrived to detach from the excitement of the wild ride enjoyed by those in the parent and child I-states and take up the solidity and reliability of those committed to residing in the adult.  It’s time for lightworkers to become adults in the sense that Eric Berne meant and take up our role as those who serve rather than those who require being served.

Footnotes

(1) Embodied in books like Eric Berne, like Games People Play and Transactional Analysis. See https://www.ericberne.com/

(2) Matthew’s Message, Sept. 11, 2010.

 

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