It wasn’t as if I was in Hawaii and Hawaii immediately changed around me to become France. It’s that, as I walked through Hawaii, if I wanted to be in France, when I rounded the next corner, I was in France. It never occurred to me to ask those I was with whether they too were in Hawaii or France.
The scale of events changed to suit my wishes. If I wanted the pace to change, then the setting out ahead of me changed in pace to suit my wishes. The setting was responsive to my desires in a constantly-unfolding manner. I had the feeling that the people I met were people I was supposed to meet or destined to meet, but I met them in the scene I wished to be in. The flow of events was somehow set, but the pace and locale was always negotiable and responsive.
No place I was in had a name or label. And looking back I don’t recall seeing any writing on anything. No one propositioned me. I met no advertising and felt constantly relaxed.
Time moved forward in a constant flow but I don’t recall any markers like day or night, or Monday and Tuesday. All was for my constant learning and evolution. All was challenging but lacked conflict. It was as if the challenge was in the extent we wished to expand or exert ourselves, but not in something that was to be overcome. Life was a movement from task to task.
I don’t recall eating or sleeping. I only recall meeting new people and engaging with them in some task, usually interprersonal. I don’t recall speaking, but I do recall communicating. I don’t recall any words exchanged but I do recall exchanging ideas. And all seemed perfectly normal. I was not puzzled by anything nor did I question it.
I do recall realizing at some point that the quality of events and destinations were left up to me. I never had the sense of needing to discuss a destination with anyone else. Activities seemed to be laid on but not their scale or outcome or what was next or where I went.
I seemed to cycle through a series of moods. Life was a dance and there was constant opportunity. All of it felt as if it were somehow building and as if I were accomplishing something but I don’t know what it was. I think I was accomplishing growth and expansion. My capacity to love was definitely and incrementally expanding.
The sharing of joy in contact was continuous. All my contacts were relatively short in duration and fluid. I met someone, engaged them, and then moved on to some other exchange. I met the same person often but in different settings, at different “times,” doing different things, and for different ends, though always the exchange of love was part of whatever was happening.
I have a sense of having been in a group and cycling through the group, with the full sense that the person I met today and left, and the same setting I was in today and left, I would meet again or be in again at a future time a short while later. I cannot say “tomorrow” because there was no today or tomorrow; only now.
And this round of life kept opening up and changing scene and moving forward.
I can’t say I didn’t constantly enjoy it and feel as if I was constantly accomplishing, though what it was I was doing I could not say more than that I was meeting people and engaging in acts like walking from here to there or having a discussion or meeting as a group or exchanging things, etc. I woke up happy and only wanted to return to sleep and continue in this most unusual and engaging round of life. I’m still happy and excited about what’s next.