The experience I had recently continues to unpack. (1)
As I said earlier, it didn’t come with a manual so I’m obliged to notice changes and connect the dots myself.
The latest change I’ve noticed is that I’m positively considerate with sales clerks. Previously I’ve felt and acted “entitled.” I demand good service and could be more than frank if I didn’t get it. Etc.
I notice I have this connection with the Self now and I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to sacrifice it to my felt desire for self-importance.
I smiled at a passenger on the bus. I talked to another passenger. I never smile at people or talk to them on the bus. I feign sleep rather than having a chit chat.
I laughed at a man who had “all play and no work” on his T-shirt. He was the kind of massive, unkempt man I never smile at, but, rather, judge. I really got that he needed friendship in the worst way and when I laughed at his jokes he really softened up.
I sat across from someone at coffee and the love that flowed out from me in energetic waves was palpable. It may as well have been a breeze. This also has never happened to me before.
All of this is new. I’m reminded of what the Divine Mother said:
Steve: When does Sahaja Samadhi occur?
DM: It occurs with a more gradual awakening and lifting up. So there is the abrupt “I am not the same.”
I am definitely not the same.
“…then there is the working, the anchoring, and the integration.”
That seems to be what I’m doing now.
“… then there is another jump, and another jump, and another jump. And you don’t know it — well, some of you do — but you are leap-frogging. And then you will be there.” (2)
I’m not sure this is the exact “I am not the same” that the Mother is referring to. Again I have no way of knowing because all of what happened was wordless.
But it’s probably similar in format and process. And here “the working, the anchoring, and the integration” may also be the same in format and process as what’s happening to me now.
The vasanas are not gone. But it’s now much more clearly a matter of choice with me whether I go with them or not.
And I know for certain that the Self is below the vasanas. It’s as if the vasanas are the 30th floor down in the ascension elevator and the Self is the 40th floor down. Until now I never went past the 30th floor. But now I have. I see that beyond the vasanas lies the Self.
I like this new me. It’s the best thing I have going for me in my life at this moment, save the relationships I have which are getting to be more precious by the minute. (Relationships were never this precious to me!)
(1) See “Original Innocence,” Sept. 21, 2018, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/09/21/original-innocence-2/; “I Now Know How the Play Ends,” Sept. 22, 2018, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/09/22/i-now-know-how-the-play-ends/; and “Archangel Michael Explains What Happened at Xenia,” Sept. 22, 2018, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/09/22/archangel-michael-explains-what-happened-at-xenia/
(2) “The Divine Mother: We are Creating a New Species of Humans,” channeled by Linda Dillon, July 10, 2014, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2014/07/12/the-divine-mother-we-are-creating-a-new-species-of-humans/.)