Keeping in mind what Mike Quinsey said recently, that none of our experiences are random (1) and Archangel Gabrielle’s advice to start small, (2) my ideas about the Michaelangelo Fund are changing as one new experience after another is brought to me.
The centrality of writing in my life persists through each new learning experience. And I realize that I have to make hard choices if I’m to remain an awareness writer.
I’ve been scaling back and scaling back my involvement with the business side of things. Here’s an example of seeing something that affects my view of my participation.
A recent experience reminded me that I am not what Joseph Conrad called a “secret-sharer.” Or perhaps a secret-keeper. Why is that?
Here’s the vasana: My family once told me that, if I did not keep the family secrets (i.e., that my Dad was violent towards my Mother), I’d be sent to boarding school. I grew up hating secrets and refused to have or keep them.
I was once offered induction into a faction of the white knights, which would have given me access to secret information. I’d have become one of those people endlessly speaking to sources and sharing intel. I said no. I did not want to keep secrets.
I value transparency, awareness, authenticity. My hunch is that this choice, which is mine to make, limits the extent of my involvement in any company’s affairs. Many things will need to remain confidential. I won’t want to be burdened with knowledge of them.
I’m now leaning towards only top-level financial decisions and working with the vision, after helping to set up the companies.
The choice goes further. I don’t want my day to consist of meetings. I’m not a sociable person. I’m much more solitary than that.
So I need to give up the thought that I’ll be leading efforts to bring lightworkers together. That’s a job for a very sociable person, I’d think.
I’m also no use to anyone when I get too busy. I have to get down to my bones that the way to make the whole thing work is to bite off only a manageable piece.
Decisions like these are hard or manageable, depending on whether we’ve managed our sense of self-importance or not. If we need to feel important, we may not let go of portfolios we can’t manage. We may want to keep a hand in everything. If we don’t need to feel important, we seem to have more latitude.
All this waiting has been useful for the matters I’ve seen about myself and the revisions I’ve been able to make to my plans. I’d rather change the plan now than have to change matters once the company is up and running.
(1) “Always bear in mind that [you] have pre-agreements prior to incarnating, so nothing that happens is by chance or accidental.” (Mike Quinsey’s Higher Self Message, June 23, 2017.)
(2) “My guidance, and more importantly the Mother’s guidance, although you will have the wherewithal to proceed quickly and valiantly, is start small.” (“Transcript ~ Archangel Gabrielle on AHWAA: Start Small, Recognizing the Magnitude of Gender Inequality, June 22, 2017” at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2017/06/24/transcript-archangel-gabrielle-on-ahwaa-start-small-recognizing-the-magnitude-of-gender-inequality-june-22-2017/)