Longtime readers might notice I haven’t been around much lately. I’ve been writing for the Weekly Awareness Guide but silent on the blog and social media.
Truth be told, I’m looking for inspiration. I’m unsatisfied with the way I’ve been writing and trying to figure out what I really want to do.
This snippet from an astrological report by Simon Vorster and Jennifer Langstone explains it well:
“Recent astrological alignments have created a deep sense of desire to break free, and to act and live with passion and purpose.
“This energy has simultaneously supported steps toward the new directions we want to create in our lives, and also highlighted the areas in our lives that are in conflict with those new directions, as the relationship between our internal voice and our outward reality has been brought into focus.
“In essence, we have become more whole within ourselves while also creating a discord with our outer reality, which has not changed. Now, with 4 planets in retrograde motion during this lunar cycle, the invisible and unconscious aspects of our being are becoming visible.
“The current astrological alignments are making us acutely aware of the emotional wounds we carry, and providing us with the emotional triggers we need to help bring awareness to — and heal — those wounded aspects of ourselves.”
For my writing and my life in general, this is 100% accurate. I now know why I’ve been uninspired: I’m ready for change.
I must now evolve my writing and share things on a more personal level. I must now become more involved in the struggle for freedom across the world while addressing my own problems and ensuring I don’t create unnecessary negativity.
I must accept the long, arduous process of bringing a vision to reality through writing while remembering to take time for meditation and rest (but not too much time). I must connect with readers more personally and be there when someone needs me.
I’ve been afraid to do all these things, but there’s no more time to waste. It took me plenty of hours of fatigue and flattened inspiration to realize it, but now, I’m here and ready to give it all I’ve got.
We All Wear the Mask
This constant questioning of what I really want to do has thrown me off writing.
I needed a hiatus to ask myself some important questions, but for a writer who intends to stay busy, it’s inexcusable. It did have some value though; it helped me realize I’m uncomfortable with the vulnerability that comes with writing.
Sometimes I think every word I write is terrible. Sometimes I wear a metaphorical mask when I write; hiding behind words that sound good while avoiding the mental and emotional depth you’re supposed to get from writing.
We wear this mask in social settings when we put on a happy face and keep our secrets, vulnerabilities, etc. from showing at the surface. If I wear it when writing, I don’t have anything genuine to say.
A New Approach
Despite these problems, I’m lucky to live this lifestyle.
I’m not rich, but I’m not starving. I have food, water, and a roof over my head. I have entertainment if I want it. I can go outside without worrying about violence or some other form of government-sanctioned danger.
Since I started writing, I haven’t once thought I had to quit for the sake of money. To quit would be to reject a miracle sent straight from heaven.
But at the same time, I haven’t felt happy, fulfilled, or anything I expected to feel from this lifestyle in a long time.
As I’m learning, this isn’t because of writing itself, but the way I approach it. I must now remove the mask, start writing about things I love, and be unafraid to express myself even if some people don’t like what I say.
Wearing a mask will make you inauthentic and unhappy. You’ll slowly let go of your passions over the fear that others will judge you for them. If you create things for a living, your work will begin to reflect this.
Eventually, you’ll have nothing left to stand for.
This happened to me; I became self-conscious and unwilling to put it all out there due to the fear of rejection. My confidence waned, I started writing less, and I felt like I no longer had something to represent.
This led me to question what I really want to do.
It’s easy to exchange deep thought for comfort, but it causes inauthentic writing, drains inspiration, and constricts the creative flow.
I’m inspired yet intimidated at the thought that I can do anything I want with this work. For the first time in a while, I feel like I can legitimately take a stand for something.
There’s no more time for fear. Depth, authenticity, and consistency are my new guidelines for writing. Stay tuned for what comes next.
About the author:
I’m a twenty-something writer & blogger with an interest in spirituality, revolution, music and the transformative creative force known as love. I run Openhearted Rebel, a daily news blog dedicated to igniting a revolution of love by raising social and spiritual awareness.
I also have a personal blog, Wes Annac’s Personal Blog, in which I share writings related to spiritual philosophy, creativity, heart consciousness and revolution (among other topics).
I write from the heart and try to share informative and enlightening reading material with the rest of the conscious community. When I’m not writing or exploring nature, I’m usually making music.
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By Wes Annac, Openhearted Rebel, April 12, 2017 – http://tinyurl.com/mqf7dn5