You long for something you know-not-what, yet you long for something more than what you see in your Life right now. In the beating of your heart, you say:
“God, I do feel growth, as though I am getting somewhere, and yet, and yet, there remains an ache in my heart, well, a pondering, a yearning for… something. It is like I am happy or happy enough, and then I fall into a trap of not being happy enough, feeling more on the sad side and that I am missing out on something I have long longed to realize.”
Well, dear ones, I say, it’s not so bad to be sad. It is not a horror story to feel a longing for something you may not be able to put your finger on. The kind of happiness you long for is not an emergency. Despite the wanting you feel when you think about it, more and more you recognize a general happiness, not exceeding happiness, yet, you know what? Who says that day-to-day happiness isn’t okay? Surely, it’s permissible to go down a quiet road in the country as well as a busy street in the big city.
Sometimes you interrupt your ease of happiness with dampening thoughts poured out from your intellect. You are aware that thinking so much about your degree of happiness detracts from your happiness. Your life is not exactly meant to be an exhibit.
When you are immersed in where you are and what you are doing, you do not ask yourself the question: “Am I happy?” It is not a question to ask. There is no questionnaire in life that you have to fill out and answer the way the world might suggest.
It is like when you take a trip in your car. Before you start your trip, you stop at the gas station and fill your tank. It is an automatic thing, not a big deal.
You just get in your car and drive. You look at the scenery. You feel a smoothness. You don’t dredge up cares. You are not looking for a scintillating trip. Your drive doesn’t have to be scintillating. Life doesn’t have to be scintillating.
You also don’t have to keep asking yourself: “Is the gas tank still full?” It is not a question you keep asking. Not if you want to enjoy the drive. You don’t worry yourself along the way. You don’t repetitively ask yourself: “Will I really get there? When, oh, when will I get there?”
You keep your foot on the gas pedal. Maybe you are driving to Salt Lake City. Salt Lake City exists in the world. You will reach there. Meanwhile, you keep your eye on the road. You are where you are at the moment, not somewhere else. What’s wrong with that? Only your impatience is wrong with that.
You stay within the speed limit. Beyond doubt, you are on your way. Well, sure, you are not at the debutante ball. And if you were, the debutante ball isn’t better than where you are driving right now. At the debutante ball, you dance. At a dance, you probably aren’t thinking that it would be better if you were taking a trip.
Regardless, whether on a drive or at a dance, you are on your way. You are you wherever you are. Your life doesn’t depend so much on where you happen to be at a particular juncture in illusory space and time.
Life doesn’t have to be anything but what it is. Whatever life may look like at a certain corner, it is Life, and it is taking you somewhere. You inevitably are getting somewhere.
You live your life. Whether it is a soap opera or a walk around the park, you are living your Once-in-a-Lifetime Life.
As it happens, you wind around in Life, as if you were sewing a dress. You have choices of style, material, color, patterns. On the sewing machine, you turn the dress this way and that way. And when the dress is finished, you try your dress on, and you wear your dress. Feel good in this dress. Probably you will wear a different dress tomorrow.
Whatever ride you take, whatever dance you go to, whatever dress you wear, you are still you.