I notice that it’s just hours after having worked on the transcript for my last reading. The lessons that are packed in it are starting to sink in, one by one.
As a result, the love I feel has taken a dramatic turn.
Until now, it was always love for the beloved. And that is a sweet and rapturous love. It was transformative love: it could sweep away conflicting emotions.
But today I’ve reached the same levels feeling an impersonal love, a universal love, a love for everyone. I can still taste the sweet and rapturous love if I wish. The way forward is indeed additive rather than subtractive or substitutive.
But this universal love is so much more stable, more substantial. It sweeps away attitudes, philosophies, religions.
It’s so subtle that, when I first noticed it, I could easily have overlooked it. Instead I recall myself saying: “What is this?” An arising of love that’s not connected to any one person?
And the more I gave my attention to it, the more and the faster it grew, until it had unfolded itself.
And then I began to see things about it: it wasn’t connected to anyone; it was substantial; etc.
It’s easier to embody this impersonal love than it is the rapturous kind of transformative love. The latter leaves me incapacitated. I think the Middle Ages used to call it a “swoon.”
But this universal love doesn’t leave me undone.
This universal love takes in everything else I’m aware of at this moment. It completely erases any desire for anything other than itself.
Just as bliss brings all things to remembrance, so does this love open the doors of understanding.
Here again I encounter this feeling of certainty that so often comes with and characterizes this space. And here as well is that confidence in myself that I’ve known on other occasions. The certainty and confidence are not related to knowledge; they are properties of the soul, it seems.
This is what Archangel Michael was talking about: how the celestials mourn when we doubt and turn on ourselves. This confidence and certainty is what then shows up as missing.
These two qualities are part of the deepest part of me. Am I unwittingly turning my back on them?
I think I am. I must stop. I must make friends with confidence and certainty because they’re the twin pillars of the transformed space.
Not a false confidence or a fake certainty. Nothing fake can exist in this space. Even that need only be said for Fourth-Dimensional ears. Fifth-Dimensional ears have lost their connection to fakery.
Oh, the buoyancy of this love. How it holds me up. How it elevates me.
Again, the deeper I breathe it in, the more it fills me up.
How could I have known?
[Two hours later]
I’ve just had lunch with a friend, in the space of universal love the whole time. My mind didn’t work very well. It was like Teflon. A thought would come in and shoot right through it, at the speed of light. Nothing stuck.
This space of universal love is as great an increase in enjoyment to transformative love as the latter is to ordinary love.
It’s a love that’s much more substantial. That makes sense when you think about it because the more enemies we create the more difficult it is to love. The more we love universally, the fewer enemies we create and therefore the calmer and more tranquil our life becomes. There’s a divine calculus to it, not like I can clearly see it yet.
When in transformative love, I’d bask in the sun. Today, in universal love, I have no attention on outside conditions at all. I’m certain that I’m enough. There is no need to seek outside stimulation.
This is the first state that I’d be willing to call an “ascended” state. An entry-level, foot-in-the-door transformational space that feels non-ordinary and better than anything I could have imagined. That’s an experiential definition.
For as long as it lasts, it’s magnificent.
What a responsibility to be in this space. What a privilege, yes, but what a responsibility too. I can see why many people would move away from the city, from society. Once I’m enough, once I don’t need anything more than myself, there’s nothing holding me to any place. There’s also nothing drawing me to any other place. I am equanimous.
Only the desire to serve the Mother remains.