I looked for what took me away from it and, when I traced it back step by step, I finally arrived at the fear of extinction and protection from that threat.
I’ve had an out-of-body experience in 1977. I know I don’t die. Why can’t I settle this matter once and for all? Why would I still fear death?
I walk down the street, love radiating from my face, and I feel these twinges of fear go off. It’s as if I’m surrounded in successive perimeters and a threat can get by one perimeter but not by the next.
The greater the threat, the closer it gets to my hidden fear of dying. The closer we get, the harder it is to feel love.
Losing a job, having to move, having an argument with someone – everything eventually ends up back at the fear of dying.
Transformative love, once present can sweep aside fear. But if that love isn’t yet present, fear can prove an obstacle to it manifesting.
Being vigilant requires me to analyze, plan and strategize. It keeps me out of the moment.
The countervailing tendency is to simply remain in this moment and feel the tremendous love that flows through me. That moment is the Now, the present, this moment. And no sooner do I allow it than I’m hit by more twinges. “Watch out, Steve.” “Be on guard, Steve.”
I don’t want to be on guard any more. If I die with this smile of love on my face, then so be it. I want to love. I know of no state more blessed than bliss and love.
I noticed today how I can’t differentiate between people when I feel this love. Ordinarily I’d be running through my biases and preferences and other ways of herding people into two camps: “Yes” and “No.” But I simply want to hug everyone when I feel like this.
Some months ago, I was noticing the different treatment I got at the grocery counter when I’m in love. Now things seem like a moving picture of people smiling back at me. This man, this street scrapper who would love to have picked a fight with anyone twenty years ago, has become … I don’t know what.
I used to marvel at Michael saying that even the most evil man wants love. I see distinctly that my scrapping with people was a way of breaking through to love with them. We’d fight each other out of our resistance and collapse in each other’s arms, having broken through to love. That’s the subtext.
I can only see that as a result of being in this wonderful love. I couldn’t have seen that before.
Another thing: this is not localized to my “heart.” This love fills my whole energy field. That is a distinct difference to months ago. Ascension is happening to us gradually and this movement of love from a localized area (the heart) to my whole energy field must be one step in that.
So love and fear, I think, are at opposite ends of the spectrum of life and consciousness. Gerald Jampolksy long ago now wrote a book called Love is Letting Go of Fear. (1) With millions of words having been written since then and now, I think his conclusion still holds.
(1) Gerald G. Jampolsky, Love is Letting Go of Fear. 3rd Edition. Celestial Arts: 2003.