It’s been a few days since I was in transformative love and here I am back in it again.
At the same time a lightworker asked me: Is the pain ever going to end?: The processing? The issues?
Yes, it will. But for now, I replied, “we’re having every bit of resistance, hatred, shittiness, manipulativeness, and everything else that can’t go with us wrung from us.”
Relationships breaking up. Impossible situations arising. No finances. No wiggle room of any kind.
What is happening? Kahlil Gibran described the process:
“Even as [Love] ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches, so shall IT descend to your roots and shake them. Like sheaves of corn IT will gather you unto ITSelf. IT will thresh you and make you naked. IT will sift you free from all your confinements. IT will grind you to whiteness. IT will knead you until you are pliant; and then IT will assign you to the sacred fire, so that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.” (1)
Love is kneading us until we’re pliant to make us bread for God’s sacred feast of Ascension.
The more we’re kneadeed, the more pliant we are, the more we experience the very love that’s kneading us.
I spent a night effusing love with all and sundry. In this space, to parrott Werner Erhard, I do what works and everything I do works. I’m laughing with waitresses, having great exchanges with bus drivers, all is wonderful.
And then tomorrow another volcano erupts and I’m back in the river of lava again. And then transformative love makes its presence known and all cares fall away. And I breathe in bliss and thank God for being alive. It’s a crazy rollercoaster life but it’s getting more bearable every day.
So yes, there is an end to vasanas. But no, that end is not in sight. And yes, there are more and more moments of love and bliss.
To anyone who says I don’t know the depth of their pain, oh, yes, I do. I know what pain feels like just as I know what love feels like.
For me at least the balance is shifting from endless pain to more and more bliss. It couldn’t shift fast enough for my liking but the process cannot be rushed. I need to finish the wash cycle, then the rinse, and then the final spin. But I feel cleaner every day, more in love with life, and more in love with myself.
(1) Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet at http://members.tripod.com/modern_mystic/doc/Kahlil_Gibran.htm.