Integrating the General into my life brought an initial rush and then an expansion in my experience of life like no other experience I can point to.
But now that has subsided (as all spiritual experiences do) and, as with love, I have to call on him now if I want to experience his qualities.
I’ve been trying to put in words what he feels like. Words like weight (as in legal weight), gravitas, consequence come to mind. I’ve never felt anyone’s energy as more … I’m looking for the word … dense, as gold is dense. More words like immoveable and indomitable come to mind.
I get lost in these qualities because they’re seductive. I’m definitely “being with it” and enjoying what I see and find. It’s a pleasure to be without fear.
I never really knew the emotional state that I was in. There was a lot of hesitancy, insecurity, and stress. I just accepted it as normal. With the General, there’s no question of any of them. They never show up as a vibration in the density, the weight, the gravitas that he brings with him.
This is the first time I’ve noticed this exact phenomenon. Where one’s physical body is rock-like, there’s no conductivity of the denser emotions such as fear and insecurity. The medium must be a conductor for feelings to ripple through it. The finer vibrations however still play upon me, just not the lower ones.
What makes a man so much of a rock? He isn’t rock-like. But he is a rock.
I knew that bands of muscular tension impede the free flow of feeling. But this is a medium so dense that no low vibration even gets started, never mind getting impeded. And yet the higher vibrations do. No explanation for that yet.
This is the first time I’ve experienced the integration of an aspect (former life) so I’m a little pre-occupied with it. I have no idea what carries a person from where I was before I met the General (again) to where he is or “lives.”
If anything, feeling this highly-focused, highly-determined personality lifts a person out of what I can only consider the smaller considerations of life. I was telling someone the other day that, where there’s no fear, there’s no courage. There’s no courage to be seen in him because there’s no fear.