The words that seem to describe it best are a “consolidation” and an ”integration.”
It’s definitely part of what I’ve called in earlier years “emergence.” (1)
Ideas which were known to me (2) are rising up to at least experiential knowledge – and sometimes realized knowledge. (3) And they’re sticking to other ideas, as if a new grid is emerging.
For example, I mentioned how I suddenly realized last week that I can choose.
Of course I knew at an intellectual level that I can choose, but this was like being in the realization of it.
But, in my experience, intellectual knowledge rising to realization causes soul capacities to stir.
Realized knowledge is to intellectual knowledge as lightning is to the lightning bug, if Mark Twain will allow me.
Getting something intellectually would not move a flea to jump. But the moment we realize the same matter, we’re impelled to move on it. Realized knowledge invokes the heart or soul (for me, they’re the same), which alone is powerful enough to have us move.
Now, tonight, I got, at the same level, the fact that this is my life. I own it.
I know that sounds trite, but it wasn’t at all trite when I realized it.
The realization that “this is my life” was an extension of “I can choose.” It amplified it.
Getting it happened in a moment.
I was walking home in the early evening. My mood was tainted by a subterranean feeling of unworthiness. Going up the elevator in my building I almost cringed, feeling deficient. There was nothing external to explain it. I was simply having a mind attack.
All the discussion of self-love and self-worth did not help. I was at some level still dragging around traces of a low self-image, a heavy burden.
But taking a stand immediately got my attention. I’m a warrior at heart and taking a stand did it for me. (4)
This is my life.
I said it to my mind.
I own this life. I planned it. I spend it. I account for it. All of it is mine and it’s the only thing I have, really, and the only thing that I take with me to the other side, courtesy of the Akasha.
It’s what I say about my life that counts and I’m tired of behaving as if it were otherwise, I continued.
If any of the voices in my head care to dispute the matter, you’ll have to deal with me. The other guy doesn’t live here any more. I’m running the show now.
Whoosh! The self-recrimination going on in the recesses of my mind disappeared.
I must have snoozed in the class about self-control. The only person I need to control is me.
I’m one horse that needs a rider. No, not you. I’m the rider.
What was it that Poonjaji said? Wake up and roar!??!!!! (5)
This is my life.
(1) See the essays under “Emergence” at “Spiritual Essays,” http://goldenageofgaia.com/spiritual-essays/.
(2) Intellectual knowledge, cita-maya-panna.
(3) Realized knowledge, bhavana-maya-panna.
(4) We have to follow our own path, our own dharma.
(5) H.W. L.Poonja, Wake Up and Roar! Sathsang with H.W.L. Poonja at http://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/Wake-Up-and-Roar-satsang-with-H.W.L.-Poonja.pdf?369cde.